Joke of the day: What's Black, White, and Dumb all over?

Answer: the Black guy in the white shirt I encountered on the train last night.

I'm waiting for the A train, on my way to a bday celebration at Cafe Charbon in the Lower East Side.  It's Saturday night and I'm feeling good (thanks to Bacardi and Captain Morgan), looking good (thanks to Old Navy), and smelling good (many thanks to Dior).  Now, if you live in NY and are single, it's always a pleasant surprise when cuties get in the same train car. Tonight was no exception.  I'm sitting there and three cute Black guys get in the train.  Professional looking, a little unkempt, obviously they had been bar-hopping.  My night is going great.  Then they start talking.

So, the three stooges [hereinafter referred to as "Moe," "Larry," and "Curly"] are having a conversation.  The train car is pretty empty, and unfortunately for my ears, they had to endure.  Larry asks Moe to tell him about the girl he met.  Moe proceeds to describe the girl, and he said, and I quote "She was really pretty, you know, White, and thick, but not Black-girl thick, White-girl thick ..." I know my ears weren't deceiving me, and to confirm, in between the hair color, eye color, type of job, etc. he kept repeating "White-girl thick" and continues to describe the difference.  While I'm sitting right there!  Curly obviously was the only smart one, relatively speaking, in the group.  He didn't say much, I'm sure because he felt uncomfortable that they were talking like that in front of me.  The funny thing is, Moe never really said anything descriptive, he just kept saying, "you know "White-girl thick."  I just started laughing to myself because they sounded so ignorant. 

Finally, the train stopped, I'm thankful I get away from them as I make my way to the F train for the remainder of my trip.  Here comes the freaking 3 stooges, behind me.  And Moe, he just couldn't help himself, he continues talking about this girl he met and how she was "White-girl thick."  I can't say with 100% certainty, but I do believe I heard him reference me as the difference.  Was it in a demeaning way, I don't think so, but isn't it demeaning enough to disrespect me as a Black woman by even having that conversation in front of me.   I know, Freedom of speech, blah blah blue.  There is never a time for inappropriate conversation, especially when you don't know what the hell you are talking about.  When I noticed they too were getting on the F train, I purposely made my way to another car. Enough of that bullshit, I'd rather hear the homeless guy tell me how he lost his job this time and ask for money. 

This brings me to my point.  The debate regarding interracial relationships should never be a discussion because you love who you love, HOWEVER, how can Black men (not all, so if it doesn't apply to you, it's not for you) constantly describe what's wrong with Black women and not expect us to get an attitude when you straight up disrespect us in our face? I just hate it that Black women are stereotyped as angry, chip on our shoulder, mad cause we don't have a man; but please remember every action is a result of cause & effect.  Where do you think this "attitude" comes from? Because of stupid remarks like that.  Like, really?  Is this what guys talk about?? Ok fine, if you talk about it, why do it in front of a Black woman?  Or a White woman? Or any woman?! Then you fill this crap in your significant other's head, and she starts walking around describing her and her friends as "White-girl thick" like it's cute.  It's not. 

All women are beautiful, and we all have beautiful bodies.  There is no denying that there are women of races not Black that have thick thighs, butts, and ample breasts, what we call "thick." Knowing many plus models, I see tons of thick White chicks, and other races; but I didn't know it was a difference in terms of what made them thick vs. me?  Apparently neither did the 3 stooges because Moe never actually articulated an intelligent answer.  If he would have stated his case as to what it meant to be "White-girl thick" vs. "Black-girl thick" I would have still been annoyed, but perhaps my post would be much more different, like, Wow- did you all know there is a new phenom...  Instead, I get dumb, dumber, and dumbest, who in all honesty, I was embarrassed for more so than me.

It's just unfortunate.  Men.  Get it together.  Keep your whack ass conversations to yourself.  And if you can't do that, I'll be waiting in the wings-blog ready.  Oh, and to the girl that met him-Honey save yourself, or you will without a doubt end up telling him to call Tyrone.

Let's Have a Toast...

What makes you feel good about the work you do?  Accolades. Raises. Promotions.  Yeah, Yeah, that's all good and great, but that only happens to what, like 5% of the workforce population?  What really makes you happy at work?  That feeling of ultimate accomplishment?  Most will never admit it out loud, but that's why I'm here.  Getting professional vindication from the douchebags and assholes you have to deal with at work.  Thanks Kanye, at least you did something right this year by making that song.  Disclaimer: I'm not talking about anyone I physically work with in the office so it's not water-cooler conversation-worthy) 

Why is it always that one person  at work that just won't let it go.  Ever.  No matter how good you are at your job, they always question your judgement.  It's not my fault you were the average student, never made it on the team, then went to college and became even more obscure.  The way to prove yourself is not by making other people's lives at your job more miserable than you.   If it sounds like I'm venting, a-duhz.

I  recently discovered that out of all the steps I have made in the progress of my career, the absolute highlight is being professionally vindicated against the one person who was intent on making my life a living hell the past several months.  I received confirmation in a newspaper article that not only do they NOT know everything, but pretty much that they [and their employer collectively] suck at their job in this one specific area, which happens to be the area I work in.  It was absolutely amazing to read.  I think I heard violins in the background as my eyes danced across the page.

I really never understood these type of working individuals.  You know the kind; they have no control over their lives at home so they overcompensate at work.  Big fail ladies and gentlemen.  Especially if they think it is going to work on me.  We spend most of our lives working, so it is understandable that it won't always be a bed of roses, and sure we all complain here and there, get mad,  etc. but overkill is unnecessary.  Taking your work seriously is an admirable trait, but let's be honest.  Anyone reading this article isn't the CEO of a major corporation (though I believe my readers will get there!), so you can't know it all, it's not logically possible.  Even me, i know it's hard to believe, but I don't know it all. 

I wrote all of that to say, pick your battles when it comes to work.  If you honestly have a question about the validity of something said by a colleague or even boss, it is your right to seek confirmation of accuracy, but to insult one's intelligence?  That's how you end up in a newspaper article.  At least in my case.  I hope you all seek your own professional vindication against the douchebag(s) at your job.  You don't have to do much, just sit back; they're like the world's dumbest criminals.  Again, at least in my case :-)

Cheers,

Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can