I can honestly say the one thing I regret about joining twitter is inadvertently coming across a trending topic #NWNW, or No Wedding No Womb. Aside from wishing the creator had taken 5 more minutes to come up with a better name- it makes my uterus uncomfortable, I think they are going about this issue all wrong. Basically, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, this website is dedicated to spreading the message of no children before marriage. I think that's a perfectly noble statement or movement to make. Seriously. It's more theoretical than realistic, but that's their right. My issues are strictly with the website and how they attempt to express their message.
After being given a brief overview, I searched for the website. I was more confused when I finally found it (The top site on Google Search is http://www.nwnw.org/- which is actually more useful and beneficial to the community). As someone trying to get basic information, I clicked on the FAQ link. Instead of giving the movement's background and history, the first question states, Is No Wedding No Womb! about bashing single moms? What does that have to do with why you started this website? Every FAQ only responds to criticism of the movement. I found it to be more defensive than informative. I figured I could get more information in the About Christelyn link. It provided great information about her background, but again, not the movement. Above all, I was thrown for a loop with the following... She is, most importantly, a mother of four children–three of them biracial–and has been married to her husband, Michael, (who just happens to be white) for eight happy, hectic years.
What does the race make-up of one's family have to do with wanting to promote no children before marriage, even if the direction is focused on the Black community? It pretty much insults my intelligence. Even if there are ignorant people in the world who think your view is either less/more valid because of the race of your husband, why would you respond to, mention, or imply the notion? Maybe I'm reading into it too much, and it was meant as an afterthought, but I am going to go with my gut on that one. Strictly from a writing/marketing perspective, fire whoever wrote that, even if it's yourself.
Lastly, I would like to address my issue with the movement because based on the tweets regarding this topic, people aren't taking it seriously (something to think about when promoting this project). No children before marriage is ideal, but not realistic. No matter how much you push a movement, change won't occur just because one says 'this is the right way.' What is this site doing to promote the movement, besides showing Baby Daddy clips of Divorce Court? Where is the media image of NWNW supporters visiting schools and Boys&Girls Club of America explaining the importance of education and taking care of the body? Are you handing out free condoms in your community to prevent pregnancy and STDs? Are you stressing the importance of what it means to be married, the history of marriage, and why the divorce rate is so high (partial answer: people get married for the wrong reasons, social expectations, fear of having children out-of-wedlock, etc.).
Ironically I do believe (hope) supporters go out into the community and promote change, but why isn't that being reflected on the website? I believe Chrystelan's intentions are absolutely for the improvement of our community. I get it, the idea isn't that you have to be married, but that you need to be more responsible when making choices that can or does lead to the result of having a child. On the other hand, I believe she and her supporters are misguided in their judgement. Saying that the state of single mothers is your business because you do the baby daddy's job by paying their WIC with your taxes' doesn't make you sound intelligent- it makes you sound bitter, even if rightfully so. Again, are you trying to make a point, or change?
It's all in perception and how you want to be perceived. NWNW makes sense (not that name though, it's dreadful and even worse when verbalized). The problem- it comes off as a gimmick. Gimmicks only get attention, not results. So if your main concern really is for the children, born and waiting to be, let us see and feel that. Otherwise you sound like the stereotypical Black woman with an attitude. #Imjustsaying (trend that)
Monday, October 04, 2010
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Unbreakable.
April 2006. November 2006. October 2010. My blog has had more highs and lows than Lindsey Lohan's career. I too, hit rock bottom. In the world of blogging that is. My passion for writing brought me to this blog in 2004. I can't believe it either. I was just a girl in NC, seeking to find an outlet for my mental thoughts. I was really excited about the possibilities for my blog, but within a year, the romance fizzled. In 2006, I moved to Jersey City, NJ. A brand new life started--with no job. So, I turned to the only friend that didn't mind my rambling. Good 'ole Opinionated Diva. That's my girl. I erased all of my previous posts to start anew, and she welcomed me with open arms, and I swore to be back with a vengeance (see post: Back For the First Time). And I was.... so I thought. Within a couple of months living in my new city, I found a job. My last post was in November 2006. What happened? Life. No, I didn't get married, have kids, or buy a home; just life.
I guess it is true what they say about your 20s. You think you know what you want, but you really don't. I thought my move here was going to catapult into a plus-modeling career. Not really, but you get my point. Sure I did a show here, a show there, mingled here, met someone there, I even auditioned (horribly I might add) for a broadway show. But that life wasn't me. I loved experiencing all of those things (except that audition- brutal), but being that person, wasn't my authentic self and it overshadowed my true passion, which is writing. I definitely don't regret any of my decisions during that time because I've met some wonderful lifetime friends and I can live my life knowing I did it. I still love fashion and join my girls for a catwalk or two, but it took living life and all that comes with it to get me to happy (so took that from Terry McMillan's book 'Getting to Happy' coming out in November- pick it up! :-)
I think I'm there. Ugh, I HATE writing these type of posts, b/c they are always so cliche- this time is going to be different, and blah blah blah. I'm not doing that this time around. All I know is that I love this blog sooooooo much. Like really, it's my baby. But we went from infancy to rebellious teen in a span of 6 years and both ran away from our responsibilities and are now trying to make amends. I thought about nixing the entire blog and starting completely over- new name-new face-new everything. But then I thought, why? Erasing the past won't mean it didn't exist; it just implies you are trying to forget your failures and I'm not going to do that. This is me, us.
It was so necessary for me to not go to sleep until I posted something on here. My olive branch to Opinionated Diva. I swear if she were a spouse- it's the kind you would want to have. So forgiving, this one. Anyway, it's 5:38 am on October 3, 2010 and I can't write much more (I actually could- that's how excited I am), but I do want to share with you my light bulb moment....
I love writing so much and my brain has opinions on a variety of subjects, but I didn't want to inundate my follower or 2 (hopefully more soon lol), so..... I created another blog!!! Yes, I did. Either go hard or go home is what I told myself this time around. Quickly, I haven't posted yet (i mean it is almost daybreak), but it is called the TD Newswire, and it is where I will be speaking on current events (with my opinion of course). It will be geared more towards keeping you informed, especially young adults. I have to say I was inspired by my friends/relatives who never know what I'm talking about when I ask them, "did you hear about ___ on the news." I just think knowing whats going on in our community, neighborhood, state, country, and world directly impacts us. Believe it or not, more so than Lindsey Lohan (sorry for the reference, but you set your own self up girlfriend). I digress.
But here, on Opinionated-Diva, as always I will pick up where I left off and continue to share with you my inner-most thoughts on all that life is, does, and will be.....Stay tuned ((singing A.Keys...cause there's more to see [unbreakable] through the technical difficulties-- so fitting, right?))
Love,
Tiff aka Opinionated Diva
PS: I left all of my old blogs up from years past b/c I actually still enjoy them, hope you do too...
I guess it is true what they say about your 20s. You think you know what you want, but you really don't. I thought my move here was going to catapult into a plus-modeling career. Not really, but you get my point. Sure I did a show here, a show there, mingled here, met someone there, I even auditioned (horribly I might add) for a broadway show. But that life wasn't me. I loved experiencing all of those things (except that audition- brutal), but being that person, wasn't my authentic self and it overshadowed my true passion, which is writing. I definitely don't regret any of my decisions during that time because I've met some wonderful lifetime friends and I can live my life knowing I did it. I still love fashion and join my girls for a catwalk or two, but it took living life and all that comes with it to get me to happy (so took that from Terry McMillan's book 'Getting to Happy' coming out in November- pick it up! :-)
I think I'm there. Ugh, I HATE writing these type of posts, b/c they are always so cliche- this time is going to be different, and blah blah blah. I'm not doing that this time around. All I know is that I love this blog sooooooo much. Like really, it's my baby. But we went from infancy to rebellious teen in a span of 6 years and both ran away from our responsibilities and are now trying to make amends. I thought about nixing the entire blog and starting completely over- new name-new face-new everything. But then I thought, why? Erasing the past won't mean it didn't exist; it just implies you are trying to forget your failures and I'm not going to do that. This is me, us.
It was so necessary for me to not go to sleep until I posted something on here. My olive branch to Opinionated Diva. I swear if she were a spouse- it's the kind you would want to have. So forgiving, this one. Anyway, it's 5:38 am on October 3, 2010 and I can't write much more (I actually could- that's how excited I am), but I do want to share with you my light bulb moment....
I love writing so much and my brain has opinions on a variety of subjects, but I didn't want to inundate my follower or 2 (hopefully more soon lol), so..... I created another blog!!! Yes, I did. Either go hard or go home is what I told myself this time around. Quickly, I haven't posted yet (i mean it is almost daybreak), but it is called the TD Newswire, and it is where I will be speaking on current events (with my opinion of course). It will be geared more towards keeping you informed, especially young adults. I have to say I was inspired by my friends/relatives who never know what I'm talking about when I ask them, "did you hear about ___ on the news." I just think knowing whats going on in our community, neighborhood, state, country, and world directly impacts us. Believe it or not, more so than Lindsey Lohan (sorry for the reference, but you set your own self up girlfriend). I digress.
But here, on Opinionated-Diva, as always I will pick up where I left off and continue to share with you my inner-most thoughts on all that life is, does, and will be.....Stay tuned ((singing A.Keys...cause there's more to see [unbreakable] through the technical difficulties-- so fitting, right?))
Love,
Tiff aka Opinionated Diva
PS: I left all of my old blogs up from years past b/c I actually still enjoy them, hope you do too...
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