Why did I not get that memo!?? If I had a diary, I would write this entry there; but, I need to share my experiences. How can I offer a perspective on all that life is, does, and will be, if I cannot incorporate my own life? Dear Diary...
I could write a novel on the stress that has been consuming my thought processes and actions lately. I do not share my problems with others because #1: They cannot [literally] do anything about it, #2: Why bring someone else down with my troubles?, #3: It is, after all, my problem. I deal with stress differently than most: I cry. I know, everybody cries at some point due to stress. My stressful experiences, however, compound and multiply in a matter of moments. The only way I can describe it to imagine your chest becoming heavier and heavier, then the thought of everything you have to deal with when you open your eyes makes it hard for you to breathe. Could I be going through a mild depression-like episode? Maybe. Could I be having an anxiety attack? Possibly. But experiencing what I did today has no clinical textbook definition.
I truly believe there is a right time & place for everything, even if it may not seem so to everyone else. Yet, the right time could be meaningless if it does not evoke the response one needs. Of course, crying will not make problems go away, but it is a release. I know society uses the phrase He/She will cry at the drop of a hat, but today I found that this phrase is categorically wrong. I do not consider myself an emotional person: if I was, I am sure I would cry at the sign of any stress, no matter how small. But today I learned that one can never understand what a person has on their mind & and in their heart at any given moment. My episode was sparked by something so innocent and non-threatening, I surprised myself and, of course, the person who unfortunately witnessed it. Then again, was it truly an unfortunate event?
I can only imagine I looked like a fool. I was embarassed of course. But, after thinking about it, and sharing my feelings, I feel liberated in a sense. Tomorrow is another day; but for right now, I know that there could have not been a better time for me to just be. Be whatever I was feeling; Be whomever I needed in order to release, and finally, breathe. Maybe big girls do cry afterall, and are better for it...
Monday, August 21, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Karma Chameleon...
I love the Culture Club tune "Karma Chameleon." Although the song had more to do with love than Karma itself, I think the literal version of the title has a powerful message. Have you ever been told you shouldn't say the word "swear" because it is inappropriate or sinful? I think Karma should be high on the list of words to be careful when using as well. Many people say Karma is a bitch; it is anything but. Unlike fate or a higher spiritual being, Karma does not pre-determine one's life experience. It is the end product of an individuals actions throughout their life. In Karma, you ultimately define your life path.
Many use Karma, Fate, and Destiny interchangeably. This is incorrect, and shows how little those who do not understand can pass them off as insignificant words; not the powerful energies I know they are. I will discuss Karma at length, since it is the topic at hand. But first, a quick definitive lesson on the others. Fate is the order of events that are planned and cannot be changed. They are not determined by an individual, rather a high power or spiritual being. Destiny is a direction towards a given ending. The end result is something that was guided by the individual. It can be seen in advance, given the guided direction is followed, and can change at any time if one wants their destiny to go in a different direction. Destiny cannot be forced; to force it would make it Fate.
The word is used so loosely, but do you truly know what it means to experience Karma? Karma is defined as the sum of all that an individual has done, is currently doing and will do...Thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain in others. This definition is precisely what each individual on this earth will experience, whether they willingly believe in Karma or not. It does not discriminate according to your age, race, sex, gender, or religious belief. It has no timeline or deadline; karma can happen in an instant, a moment, or the rest of a lifetime. Yet, it does not offer the same conclusion for similar circumstances. For instance, different people who commit the same crime or offense may not necessarily experience the same Karma. Remember, Karma is the sum of all the actions that has brought that person to the present day. For one, their Karma may be jail time, for another it may be jail time and a lifetime of bad fortune. Do not be mistaken; not all Karma is bad. Unfortunate events happen to everyone in life, but those events are not automatically Karma itself. How one handles the events may determine their Karma.
This philosophy can be (and should be-in my opinion) applied to the world in general: politics, consumerism, socio-economics, etc. It has always been my experience that, as a society, we spend so much time focusing on the lives of others that we stray from living our own lives to its' full potential. If everyone applies even half of this ideal [of being responsible for one's own life], and not how someone else chooses to live, I foresee, at a minimum, less classism, racism, religiocentrism, etc. We have let outside influences dictate who we are. Of course you need laws, a government, and justices to keep order in a society where order is a way of life. However, I believe if we consciously reminded ourselves daily- I am the sum of all that I do, am currently doing and will do...thus making me responsible for my own life, and the pain in others; voting on whether its legal to love someone no matter who they are; or determining what a woman can & cannot do with her body; or contemplating that the Black voting rights act will technically expire August 6, 2007 , would no longer be a decision for majority rule.
The phrase Karma Chameleon interests me because I understand that Karma does come in infinite forms. True believers in Karma never wait for it to happen because Karma wears no watch. The beauty of Karma is that those who believe can experience life without becoming consumed in their troubles or triumphs. Knowing that Karma will happen is conclusion enough in any situation. Sure, I hurt, cry, get angry, laugh, love; all of the emotions that come with being a human being. But, if I did not believe in the true energy of Karma, my life would be heavy with the burden of wanting tangible closure to experiences only Karma can finalize. I am content knowing that I am living my life for me, and whatever happens to me-good or bad- is a result of what I have done and no one else.
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles.
Then the victory is yours.
It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
Buddha
Many use Karma, Fate, and Destiny interchangeably. This is incorrect, and shows how little those who do not understand can pass them off as insignificant words; not the powerful energies I know they are. I will discuss Karma at length, since it is the topic at hand. But first, a quick definitive lesson on the others. Fate is the order of events that are planned and cannot be changed. They are not determined by an individual, rather a high power or spiritual being. Destiny is a direction towards a given ending. The end result is something that was guided by the individual. It can be seen in advance, given the guided direction is followed, and can change at any time if one wants their destiny to go in a different direction. Destiny cannot be forced; to force it would make it Fate.
The word is used so loosely, but do you truly know what it means to experience Karma? Karma is defined as the sum of all that an individual has done, is currently doing and will do...Thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain in others. This definition is precisely what each individual on this earth will experience, whether they willingly believe in Karma or not. It does not discriminate according to your age, race, sex, gender, or religious belief. It has no timeline or deadline; karma can happen in an instant, a moment, or the rest of a lifetime. Yet, it does not offer the same conclusion for similar circumstances. For instance, different people who commit the same crime or offense may not necessarily experience the same Karma. Remember, Karma is the sum of all the actions that has brought that person to the present day. For one, their Karma may be jail time, for another it may be jail time and a lifetime of bad fortune. Do not be mistaken; not all Karma is bad. Unfortunate events happen to everyone in life, but those events are not automatically Karma itself. How one handles the events may determine their Karma.
This philosophy can be (and should be-in my opinion) applied to the world in general: politics, consumerism, socio-economics, etc. It has always been my experience that, as a society, we spend so much time focusing on the lives of others that we stray from living our own lives to its' full potential. If everyone applies even half of this ideal [of being responsible for one's own life], and not how someone else chooses to live, I foresee, at a minimum, less classism, racism, religiocentrism, etc. We have let outside influences dictate who we are. Of course you need laws, a government, and justices to keep order in a society where order is a way of life. However, I believe if we consciously reminded ourselves daily- I am the sum of all that I do, am currently doing and will do...thus making me responsible for my own life, and the pain in others; voting on whether its legal to love someone no matter who they are; or determining what a woman can & cannot do with her body; or contemplating that the Black voting rights act will technically expire August 6, 2007 , would no longer be a decision for majority rule.
The phrase Karma Chameleon interests me because I understand that Karma does come in infinite forms. True believers in Karma never wait for it to happen because Karma wears no watch. The beauty of Karma is that those who believe can experience life without becoming consumed in their troubles or triumphs. Knowing that Karma will happen is conclusion enough in any situation. Sure, I hurt, cry, get angry, laugh, love; all of the emotions that come with being a human being. But, if I did not believe in the true energy of Karma, my life would be heavy with the burden of wanting tangible closure to experiences only Karma can finalize. I am content knowing that I am living my life for me, and whatever happens to me-good or bad- is a result of what I have done and no one else.
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles.
Then the victory is yours.
It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
Buddha
Monday, August 14, 2006
What's wrong with "no strings attached?"
When I was in college, I had only one boyfriend under my belt. I wish the world would have prepared me sooner-I would have had at least five! As soon as the first guy told me I was pretty, I automatically thought he likes me. My second thought was, he could be my boyfriend. Not the best judgement, I know. While college is only four years of your life, those fortunate [or unfortunate] enough to experience it will agree it is an accelerated course in life, sex, & relationships.
I first heard this term no strings attached in college. At the time I thought, I will never get involved with someone if I can't see him being my boyfriend. If you are in college, save yourself the turmoil! If you are out of college, save yourself the turmoil! I have come to realize that there is alot wrong with strings, and alot right with them. I will go through the pros and cons of this dichotemy, while attempting to stay objective and fair to both sides.
Women, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be involved with someone with no strings attached. It is a clearly recognized double standard with women in relation to men. Women are expected to be "marriage material" at a time when men are "being men." When I was a teenager, I thought I would be married with children by the time I was 25, and I was happy with that notion. Then I came back to reality. There is NOTHING wrong with this decision, if one so chooses to make it; but why should a women who chooses to not be married, or engaged, or with a longterm boyfriend, become part of an outcast society? No matter what age a woman is, she has the right to be whatever, and with whomever. Some think that a marriage certificate is just a piece of paper, but it absolutely has a psychogical effect. A couple can be together for 5 years, and the moment they get married, it's over within 1 year? Part of the problem is that we have succomb to the societal time line that emphasizes we be at a certain place in life at a certain age; this results in the sanctity of marriage being sacrificed in order to beat a deadline. Sounds ridiculous when written, correct? Theoretically, this is what has happened. As women, I think if one chooses to not have a relationship, it doesn't make her less appealing, or less likely to find someone if she decides to commit. As long as you are safe and put your health and feelings first, whatever relationship path you choose, it is going to be the right path for you.
Now: the cons. There is not one woman who can get involved with someone and the possibility of a future not cross their mind. It has always been my philosophy that the nature of attraction is the possibility of something greater than what you see in the present. Scientifically, I do believe women's brains are wired differently than men in terms of sex and love (with a few* exceptions). Sure, there are instances where a woman says, well, the sex is great so I will just keep him around. Ladies, do not fool yourself: sexual pleasure [more often than not] is an underlying feeling of a deeper emotion. It may start that way, but being sexually involved will lead to emotional feelings-guarranteed. I'm sure there are women who will dispute this statement, but I firmly stand by my words. I know from experience, it is hard to accept disappointment when possibilty fades, and you realize there is no future with this person. You will say anything enough times until your own feelings are validated (i.e. He was just someone to have sex with anyway...). I do not understand why being upfront about what you want "scares men off." Agreeing to see someone with no strings attached voids any possibilty of a future. Even if things become more involved; the minute you get too close, or he sleeps with another woman; no strings attached. You can be involved with the same man for years, and if you ever told him there are no strings attached, it will be embedded in his brain like knowing our ABCs. If you are a woman and are looking for more than a sexual relationship, you should not be afraid to express that; if it scares a man away, he is not the man for you. More than anything, look for honesty in a man: he should respect that same quality in you.
The idea of no strings attached for women is a complicated one because we are damned if we do and damned if we dont. I will not say the pros outweight the cons, or vice verse. I will say be wary of using the term, or agreeing to start a relationship based on the term, sexual or otherwise. Does anyone even know where the term originated? I always thought the purpose of strings were to be tied? So, I went through this whole schpeel when I could have started and ended the discussion with one sentence??! Ahh well, as is life...
I first heard this term no strings attached in college. At the time I thought, I will never get involved with someone if I can't see him being my boyfriend. If you are in college, save yourself the turmoil! If you are out of college, save yourself the turmoil! I have come to realize that there is alot wrong with strings, and alot right with them. I will go through the pros and cons of this dichotemy, while attempting to stay objective and fair to both sides.
Women, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be involved with someone with no strings attached. It is a clearly recognized double standard with women in relation to men. Women are expected to be "marriage material" at a time when men are "being men." When I was a teenager, I thought I would be married with children by the time I was 25, and I was happy with that notion. Then I came back to reality. There is NOTHING wrong with this decision, if one so chooses to make it; but why should a women who chooses to not be married, or engaged, or with a longterm boyfriend, become part of an outcast society? No matter what age a woman is, she has the right to be whatever, and with whomever. Some think that a marriage certificate is just a piece of paper, but it absolutely has a psychogical effect. A couple can be together for 5 years, and the moment they get married, it's over within 1 year? Part of the problem is that we have succomb to the societal time line that emphasizes we be at a certain place in life at a certain age; this results in the sanctity of marriage being sacrificed in order to beat a deadline. Sounds ridiculous when written, correct? Theoretically, this is what has happened. As women, I think if one chooses to not have a relationship, it doesn't make her less appealing, or less likely to find someone if she decides to commit. As long as you are safe and put your health and feelings first, whatever relationship path you choose, it is going to be the right path for you.
Now: the cons. There is not one woman who can get involved with someone and the possibility of a future not cross their mind. It has always been my philosophy that the nature of attraction is the possibility of something greater than what you see in the present. Scientifically, I do believe women's brains are wired differently than men in terms of sex and love (with a few* exceptions). Sure, there are instances where a woman says, well, the sex is great so I will just keep him around. Ladies, do not fool yourself: sexual pleasure [more often than not] is an underlying feeling of a deeper emotion. It may start that way, but being sexually involved will lead to emotional feelings-guarranteed. I'm sure there are women who will dispute this statement, but I firmly stand by my words. I know from experience, it is hard to accept disappointment when possibilty fades, and you realize there is no future with this person. You will say anything enough times until your own feelings are validated (i.e. He was just someone to have sex with anyway...). I do not understand why being upfront about what you want "scares men off." Agreeing to see someone with no strings attached voids any possibilty of a future. Even if things become more involved; the minute you get too close, or he sleeps with another woman; no strings attached. You can be involved with the same man for years, and if you ever told him there are no strings attached, it will be embedded in his brain like knowing our ABCs. If you are a woman and are looking for more than a sexual relationship, you should not be afraid to express that; if it scares a man away, he is not the man for you. More than anything, look for honesty in a man: he should respect that same quality in you.
The idea of no strings attached for women is a complicated one because we are damned if we do and damned if we dont. I will not say the pros outweight the cons, or vice verse. I will say be wary of using the term, or agreeing to start a relationship based on the term, sexual or otherwise. Does anyone even know where the term originated? I always thought the purpose of strings were to be tied? So, I went through this whole schpeel when I could have started and ended the discussion with one sentence??! Ahh well, as is life...
Temporary Technical Difficulties
Hi again,
Can you believe it, two posts in less than 24 hours, I'm on a roll!! Seriously, ladies & gentleman, due to coding issues with my new blog layout (isn't it absolutely FAB?!), my comment section has been deleted and I will need assistance re-inserting it. You will not be able to leave a comment, but please take this time to participate in my online poll. I will contemplate creating a new email specifically for feedback if I get enough interest. Thanks you for your patience.
Can you believe it, two posts in less than 24 hours, I'm on a roll!! Seriously, ladies & gentleman, due to coding issues with my new blog layout (isn't it absolutely FAB?!), my comment section has been deleted and I will need assistance re-inserting it. You will not be able to leave a comment, but please take this time to participate in my online poll. I will contemplate creating a new email specifically for feedback if I get enough interest. Thanks you for your patience.
I Feel Like A Woman
As I get more inspiration from the world around me, and engage in the never-ending discussion of Women are from Venus: Men are from Mars (i.e. Why is it so hard to trust a man?), I decided to share my philosophy on this phenomenon. Disclaimer: I am NOT a feminist; however, I am a woman. Therefore, I can only speak on this issue from a woman's perspective. So men, do not feel as if you are excluded from the discussion. Please voice your opinion if you agree or disagree on any future interpretations of my seeking truth about men...
Enduring yet another circumstance of being mistreated by a man, I was surfing the net to plan my much needed revenge. I came across a website entitled, dontdatehimgirl.com (check out the link). It is a revenge seeker's heaven, and lying/cheating man's demise. Think of it as a world directory for any woman doing a background check, so to speak, of the man they (or their friends) are dating. It is a profile written by experienced women who know, were involved with, or married to, the alleged womanizer. There are thousands upon thousands of entries: it is quite remarkable actually. Men, do not get bent out of shape, you are able to defend yourself (if you know you are on display). Although, I think this section was put on the site for legality reasons. I cannot foresee why any woman would tell the man she seeks revenge on that he is on this site; that would ruin the surprise of unsuspecting dirty looks he will get by women in his hometown. I was so impressed with the site, I wanted to do my part and thank the site creator. Not expecting any response, I sent an email satisfied that I at least let her know she inspired me. Within one day, I got a response from the creator herself! I was beyond words.
Many of the accused had myspace profiles also. I am sure most, if not ALL of the world is familiar with myspace.com thanks to Dateline (don't you agree they are getting a little Maury Povich-ish with the weekly undercover online chat operations?). I have found myspace to be relatively engaging, if not slightly addictive. There is a section for blogs on myspace, but I am aware that not everyone is a fan, and some just love to hate the current "guilty pleasure." It is so amazing that in this day and age, revenge can be achieved without leaving your home or picking up a phone, and have it reach around the world. If chivalry is truly dead, it has been reincarnated as new-age revenge.
This blog has pulled me in so many different directions, and I still want to be able to write about ANYTHING that peaks my interest, whether it's world politics, or why I don't like coffee (and never understood why the world has fallen victim to Starbucks!?). But, I feel I owe it to the women in my life to discuss us. So, I will introduce issues I feel are important to women in truly understanding who we are and our purpose on this earth-it can be related to health, love, sex, money, etc. If you have any issues you want addressed, please post a comment! Until next time...
Enduring yet another circumstance of being mistreated by a man, I was surfing the net to plan my much needed revenge. I came across a website entitled, dontdatehimgirl.com (check out the link). It is a revenge seeker's heaven, and lying/cheating man's demise. Think of it as a world directory for any woman doing a background check, so to speak, of the man they (or their friends) are dating. It is a profile written by experienced women who know, were involved with, or married to, the alleged womanizer. There are thousands upon thousands of entries: it is quite remarkable actually. Men, do not get bent out of shape, you are able to defend yourself (if you know you are on display). Although, I think this section was put on the site for legality reasons. I cannot foresee why any woman would tell the man she seeks revenge on that he is on this site; that would ruin the surprise of unsuspecting dirty looks he will get by women in his hometown. I was so impressed with the site, I wanted to do my part and thank the site creator. Not expecting any response, I sent an email satisfied that I at least let her know she inspired me. Within one day, I got a response from the creator herself! I was beyond words.
Many of the accused had myspace profiles also. I am sure most, if not ALL of the world is familiar with myspace.com thanks to Dateline (don't you agree they are getting a little Maury Povich-ish with the weekly undercover online chat operations?). I have found myspace to be relatively engaging, if not slightly addictive. There is a section for blogs on myspace, but I am aware that not everyone is a fan, and some just love to hate the current "guilty pleasure." It is so amazing that in this day and age, revenge can be achieved without leaving your home or picking up a phone, and have it reach around the world. If chivalry is truly dead, it has been reincarnated as new-age revenge.
This blog has pulled me in so many different directions, and I still want to be able to write about ANYTHING that peaks my interest, whether it's world politics, or why I don't like coffee (and never understood why the world has fallen victim to Starbucks!?). But, I feel I owe it to the women in my life to discuss us. So, I will introduce issues I feel are important to women in truly understanding who we are and our purpose on this earth-it can be related to health, love, sex, money, etc. If you have any issues you want addressed, please post a comment! Until next time...
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