Monday, December 05, 2011

Education Leads to Intelligence: The Paradox Edition (aka SIKE!)

You don't have to be a college educated citizen to know what the above picture represents in this country, especially in the South.  But if you've ever heard the saying "too smart for your own good," well here's a story for you...

University of South Carolina student Byron Thomas, who is African-American (though he hates this label- I will speak more on that later), sparked debate on campus when he chose to hang the confederate flag in his dorm room.  You can read the entire story over at Huffington Post.  I only skimmed through the article, but I got enough to form my solid opinion and it is simply so: going to college doesn't make one educated.  In his case, it's quite the damn opposite.

Just because you attend an institution for higher learning, and are given a project on the Civil War- and in doing research, you come across information that suggests or implies this flag means anything other than what millions of African-Americans know it to mean for them, does not make it fact.  I'm sure this information is technically true, I mean duh. Of course it was a communication symbol.  But Mr. Thomas wasn't alive during the Civil War and his literary interpretation cannot be a representation of his true experience.  Given the fact from the time his mother and father fell in love, decided to have a baby, and pop this idiot out, the confederate flag has been quite the communication symbol alright.  To stay the hell out of dodge.  I will even be devil's advocate for a sentence or two: the flag never affected me personally in an emotionally negative way.  Seeing a confederate flag in the South is like seeing a bum on the streets of Manhattan- eh, what else is new.  I saw people with confederate flags flying from their trucks almost every day in my youth- it didn't scare me; but it also didn't give me warm and fuzzy feelings of you know, I should get me one of those!.  I am from the South as well and have mounds of Southern pride, and the confederate flag makes no appearance on my top MILLION things I love about the South.  In his research, did he find the documentation in which Abraham Lincoln himself noted the primary goal for the war was bringing down the South, not slavery itself- it just so happened that ending slavery is what would ruin the South, thus their victory in war?  Does he know this?  Does he? Seriously, don't try to spark a debate as if you are some martyr for the younger generation.  GTFOH. 

He also says he is against labels and doesn't like being called African-American.  There are others who have this same sentiment.  And to this argument, which has SOME validity, I will say this.  Do you think Blacks in this country liked being called Nigger?  Legally? Right.  So the fact that you even have the choice, and the RIGHT to say what you will and will not be called in this country by your own accord is a direct correlation to the AFRICANS who came before you-FROM AFRICA- all so you can sit your Black ass (you do like being called Black right?) on TV and attempt to sound intelligent about a flag you know nothing about, other than what you read in a book that systematically wants to keep you ignorant.  Being called African-American has nothing to do with literally being from Africa and everything to do with socio-cultural identity; before, Blacks were just that. A color.  So if you really feel that because your relatives from hundreds of years ago which you have no knowledge of or connection to makes you not-African- well that's your argument and you are entitled to it.  You can always check whatever box you feel when asked.  Though I'm sure when he filled out his FAFSA last year he checked African-American with a bold permanent marker (#minorityscholarships).  I digress...  So Byron, you say calling you African-American when you weren't born in Africa makes you feel like half an American?  Imagine how it felt to be considered less than a human being. Legally. I hope your mother and/or father slap the shit out of you.  Just because you are given information...unless you internalize, analyze, and at minimum use common sense to apply that to your own experience, you are no more rational in your desire to hang the flag than the person who carries it in his/her heart and would rather hang you instead.  It's a harsh statement. And the truth.

I am all for the freedom of speech and expression (obviously!), and your right to be whomever you choose.  That is what I like about being an American.  But when you justify your views based on #1 misinformation #2 total disregard and disrespect for the people who died at the hands of the tangible item you seek to display and #3 Plain ole dumb-ass-ness (yes I made that up), I can't with you.  Class dismissed.

Aside:  As we are in the days of reality TV, viral videos, and 15 minute fame-whoring, I wouldn't be surprised if this guy just wanted to be different for attention.  That was my first thought when I read the story.  Yeah, I don't give the younger generation much credit these days.  And I won't. Until they act like they have some damn sense.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Maury Can Thank Justin Bieber for Increased Viewership/Google Searches

I have a feeling Justin Bieber will be stealing this dance move if the paternity test results are in his favor.  Well, that's if he takes the test.  The media has taken this story by storm, though I attribute it to slow pop culture drama- I mean between the MJ trial (sad but not sensational), Lindsay Lohan (yawn), and Kim Kardashian's divorce (which had a surprise factor equivalent to Ricky Martin coming out), it's a no-brainer this is major pop news.  However, I'm going to take this story in a different direction, now that the police may investigate the accuser for statutory rape (she was 19 and Bieber 16 at the time of alleged encounter).  I can't believe the blatant double standard that is being exhibited by the media and public in general. 

I don't understand how the term statutory rape is being thrown around (even though legally it is) when I specifically remember People magazine gushing over Hillary Duff and Joel Madden, despite her being 16 and he 24?  Statutory rape never entered the media picture. Go back further to American Rock/Country singer Jerry Lee Lewis who married his 13 y/o cousin at the age of 23.  Sure there was scandal, but no jail time.  We of course can't forget then 27 y/o R. Kelly who allegedly (why are we still saying "allegedly" this is totally true) married singer Aaliyah when she was 15. More recently there is the 51 y/o actor from Lost who married his 15 y/o girlfriend.  I don't care if her mom gave permission, where is the justice in that??

To bring home my point, I just feel that there is a major double standard in terms of women engaging in inappropriate behavior versus men.  And I don't like it.  While I'm at it, I also don't like the way this girl is being dragged through the mud for her looks; granted I couldn't quite understand what the Biebs may have seen in her.  But then I thought about it.  If he wasn't "Bieber,"  he'd be a 16 year old acne-prone, short, awkward teenager looking for some action.  And to an extent, he still was.  So maybe she was up his alley.  I don't like to document anything if I can't prove it, but I'm going on a limb to say this baby isn't Bieber's: #1 her story is wack [he insisted on not using a condom--- so I assume she jumps off bridges with friends too] and  #2 she went to a trashy magazine to sell her story. 

Ok I'm done talking about this until (if) the result come in...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Midnite Rambles

And there she is..... My baby all grown up!  Launching in early 2012 (hoping January is the month!), OD (http://www.opinionateddiva.com/) will be officially mine. And yours! I will continue to share all of my life experiencs- good and bad- so don't fret.  But my goal has always been to have a site that people go to because they want an honest opinion about what's going on in the world.  Considering that I started this blog in 2004 (don't try to find those entries- I got all feng shui and deleted them years ago to "start fresh."  What was I thinking?), I think I'm ready to take that leap.

Of course I want it to be successful, and unlike this blog, I do want to have a larger audience.  BUT, what I don't want is to lose the essence of what OD is about.  So, I hope you like it, and I promise to stay true. This site is going to have a little bit of everything.  Did you know I started a blog called "TD Newswire" that is still sitting in my blogger dashboard. 2 years later, and.....nothing. I am a news fanatic, yet I never acted on it.  So, OD will cover a variety of topics, and in the grand scheme of my dreams it will continue to expand.  I won't take up too much of your time, but just wanted to offer you a glimpse of what's to come.  Make sure you bookmark OD, like our page on FB, and follow me on Twitter. 

Side note: Believe me, just because I haven't written about it doesn't mean I don't have a story to tell.  My life continues to bring in the laughs. At my expense. I will share them all with you in due time :-)

Side Side note:  I realize my logo doesn't look all glossy and professional, but you know what? I did it all by myself and I am beyond over the moon about it, so deal with it! lol However, I have sent it to the salon for a full makeover, so the finished product will look more professional.  But I just had to share it, because I am doing OD not only for myself, but for you:-)

Love ,
OD

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Still Here!

Hey y'all- I'm still here!  Believe me, it pains me more than you to see OD on my "favorites" toolbar looking at me with those why don't you love me anymore eyes.  Don't worry, she will have a new home soon and the universe will again be in balance.   Of course I'll still be posting; but in the mean-time between-time, I'm on to a bigger discovery...

As you know, I got my library card this summer.  I am still very much a regular on the NY library scene.  First, I wanted to embark on a journey to learn more about my history.  Success.  I am definitely more aware and grateful for the life I live, and my complaining went down about 20% (wait, that is alot right?).  Recently, I decided to embark on a another journey- of self.  It's been Ah-mazing.  If you've ever read the Karma post [my favorite piece written to date], then you know I believe 1000% in aura, energy, cosmic influence, etc (yes, I probably was a buddhist or close to it in my former life).  I'm still learning, but I can tell you with profound certainty I am in a different space.  In just the span of a few weeks my focus has completely shifted.  It's crazy.  No- I'm not gonna get all sanctified or follow you around the airport Hare-Krishna style, that's not my thing. So far from it lol!  But- I do believe I have found my center. That's all.  Just wanted to share my world for the moment:-)

Until OD strikes again....

Sunday, August 28, 2011

How I Survived Hurricane Irene...In Brooklyn

Growing up in  Wilmington, NC, I am much more comfortable with hurricanes than any other natural disaster (don't believe me, just ask friends about my mini-panic attack re: east coast earthquake).  I still get an attitude just thinking about the NYC blizzard of 2010 and whatever winter 2011 has in store.  So, when the forecast predicted Hurricane Irene would come directly for NYC (after hitting my good 'ole hometown) I was none the worried.  Well I won't say I wasn't worried, because I do know the effects even a tropical storm can bring; I was optimistically cautious about any inconvenience I might experience.  If I was in North Carolina, my post would be filled with survival tips, kits, and serious discussion.  But I live in Brooklyn, alone, on the 5th floor, and well, it's just different preparing for a hurricane.  Here is how I survived...

Single Girls Survival Kit- In Brooklyn
What do we have here?  Well everything you need to survive a hurricane in Brooklyn of course! 2 fashionably orange candles- not only do they help me see in the dark, they match my accent wall and lamps!  You will also need a lighter for the candles, which moonlights as a hot commodity in this neighborhood.  Lastly, and interestingly enough, I forgot to purchase a flashlight.  Then I remembered, hey, I have my finger light from the Beyonce show at Roseland Ballroom! Granted, it is hella small, and should only to be used for waiving your hands in the air (like you just don't care)- but, it is also quite the flashlight when options are limited.  After being scolded by friends with my rationale, I trekked out in the rain en route to find a "real" flashlight.  Word to the wise- never try to get a flashlight the same day a hurricane is coming to town.  Needless to say, like always, Bey never let's me down.





I must thank Irene for being the inspiration to finally stock my refrigerator after living in this apartment for almost 9 months.  Though I'm not really sure how hurricane-ready my groceries were.  What you don't see are the frozen onion rings and ice cream I have in the freezer.  Don't think they would fare too well if the power went out. But since it didn't, I can confirm that onion rings baked in the oven are just as good as deep frying them! Well, only the frozen kind (I mean, it's obvious they were already fried before being frozen!).  I'm sure to some of you, my food situation is still dire, but I feel like I can eat for weeks I tell ya! I definitely text my friend and told her had it not been for Irene, my fridge would only have liquor and left-over Chinese.  Seriously- you should have seen it last week.   

Yes, bread and cereal are essentials; but I want you to pay attention to the bottle to the left.  This is my new favorite drink, Malibu Black (do yo think they will give me an endorsement deal if I fwd them this post!?).  Anyway, this drink also serves multiple purposes.  It can cheer you up if you get cabin fever (though I'm not sure how you get cabin fever in 2 DAYS...WITH POWER- New Yorkers ;-).  But, this can be used in conjunction with the above lighter to make a fire, or since I'm in Brooklyn- MORE FIYAH! (I know that was corny, but I had to!!) .  And there you have it, how I survived. 

Uh Oh, NuNu is staring at me: of course I couldn't have made it without my NuNu Ninja Kitty (if you call us fighting and me putting him in the cage for biting my toe making it.).  He sure protected me alright...


On a serious note: At the time I'm writing this post, the storm isn't over, millions are without power, and 9 people have lost their lives as a result of Irene, so I do want to send my thoughts and prayers to those affected. 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Insensitive Marketing: Ignorance or Cash Cow?

UPDATE:  Vogue Italia has since changed the name and description of their earrings, but you read it here first!  And no formal apology??  The nerve.  Please make sure you reblog and repost this so the world knows the truth!

ANOTHER UPDATE: Now Vogue Italia has issued an apology (I had to search for it online), but it's even WORSE than calling them "slave" earrings to begin with.  According to the Guardian, editor-in-chief Franca Sozzani explains it is a matter of really bad traslation from Italian into English.  They are really trying to diffuse the situation, but it just pisses me off even more.  Don't diminish my intellectual capacity with this stupid ass statement lady.
When I look at this picture, I think, wow- those gold accessories are hot!  Want to order one of these pieces?  Sure, let's start with the fabulous earrings.  When you try to find the exact pair, make sure you look for The Slave.  No, it's not a typo.  According to Vogue Italia [via Jezebel] it is the name of this specific type of earring.  Who effin' knew?!  Not me, and I've been a fan of, ohh let's see what they've been called FOREVER, hoop earrings since being a young girl in the late 80s.  Out of the hundreds of people on any fashion marketing team it takes to create the final image of their product, NOT ONE PERSON thought this name was insensitive, or at least distasteful?

I should never have any reason to go to the Italian Vogue website or write a blog post about them, considering we have American Vogue. Now, this magazine is getting free international publicity based off an insensitive fashion statement. According to the description, If the name brings to the mind the decorative traditions of the women of colour who were brought to the southern Unites States during the slave trade, the latest interpretation is pure freedom. Colored stones, symbolic pendants and multiple spheres. And the evolution goes on. Really? This is the most bullshit I have heard in my 32 years of life (well that's a stretch, but it's right up there).  How exactly could these earrings possibly remind me of women of colour during the slave trade when it is a KNOWN HISTORICAL FACT, that all African captives were stripped naked before boarding slave ships in order to #1 not have any cultural identity and #2 use any jewelry/clothing that could potentially be used as a weapon (for murder, escape OR suicide- of which many cases escape/suicide were one in the same). GET 400 YEARS WORTH OF F*CKS OUT OF HERE.  

Surprisingly, this isn't the first time this type of marketing snafu has happened..  Just last week, one of my favorite bloggers Miss Jia outed Nivea for their insensitive advertisement regarding Black men and their appearance.  The ad received enough retweets, blog posts, and backlash that Nivea issued a formal apology.  I'm sure they were also issued a big fat increase in sales and notoriety.  I can't confirm their sales figures in the past week or predict it for the fiscal year, but I can guarantee they will still be in business and people (including Blacks) will still buy their products.  I confess- I love Nivea's hand cremes and lotions, but made the conscious decision to not purchase anything from them again.  The same goes for any company or magazine that can be so insensitive to a group of people.

Nivea has never received so much free press. Ever.  And since they have issued a formal "apology," it's like it never happened.  Pretty much, their thought is we made a mistake (though it wasn't really a mistake b/c they knew it would get publicity and possibly an increase in sales); we apologize (but they really don't mean it- I mean honestly- do you think they DIDN'T know this ad was insensitive?); and we hope you continue to purchase our products (because after all, they know if you are a Nivea customer at least 95% of you will return despite their calculated misjudgement).

These incidents are no different than celebrities in general- any publicity is good publicity. I'm sure this blog post will have zero impact on the business sales of Nivea and Vogue Italia, or the person that wrote the horrible description of the earrings (though in my personal opinion they should be fired).  Nivea is probably sitting in their corner office laughing all the way to the bank and Vogue Italia's team is in amazement at the increased web traffic.  But I will take that risk of giving them publicity if it reaches even ONE person.  Never sacrifice your own consciousness or self-worth as a human being for profit. Or smell good lotion. Or trendy earrings.   


Side Note:  Re: earrings- This type of earring is sold by many different designers, retail chains, and street vendors.  I would definitely wear them, and you should too, as long as they aren't called "slave." Nivea, on the other hand, can eat dirt.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Dude? Seriously?!

Every year me and my Cheetah Divas (don't ask, just know we are one kick-ass crew) get away from the concrete jungle for debauchery and relaxation. This year it was New Orleans. LOVED IT. (I should blog about that too huh, dammit OD!). In any event, as I was walking in the French Quarter I came across this beautiful house.  Upon closer inspection I saw the scribbled quote I ask myself pretty much every week... What has he done for you lately? I was going to put it on Facebook, but thought it deserved more than than being a mere "mobile upload." And so I waited. Never one to fail, sorry ass men gave me the inspiration to write this post...and share my pic.  Thank you. I guess. Here we go...

What Has He Done for You Lately Dude #1
I've been living in Brooklyn for about 6 months now.  Needless to say I know how the trains work: when to run for the door, when to give up and relent to being late for work, when to skip the train car with the homeless person posing as a MTA worker in the reflective vest, you know- the usual.  This particular day I tried my hand at running. Late to work it is!  Trying to catch my breath I hear someone call behind me, excuse me miss, excuse me.  I turn around and there is this pretty cute MTA guy (legitimate worker) coming my way.  He proceeds to explain how I can tell when the train is about to pull off.  I didn't have the energy to tell him I knew this already, but after I thanked him he continued the conversation.  Long story short, he asked for my digits. As I waited for him to pull out his cell phone, he pulls out....a pen and piece of paper?  Red Flag #1- either this dude is married, has a girlfriend, or didn't pay his cell phone bill.  Then he asks what I'm doing...that night.  Red Flag #2. Pressed much? Don't take me to dinner, GET A EFFIN CELL PHONE!  Fast forward a week later.  He never called.  But as luck, or punishment would have it, I see him as I take my seat on the train.   
HIM: What's up?
ME: Hey, you know the usual, working, staying cool
HIM: So what happened to you?
ME:?? What do you mean? I didn't get any calls from you (I dare not say texts since landlines aren't the best texting devices)
HIM: Don't worry about it, I'll leave you alone.
ME: Okay, noted.
Dude? Seriously?! What have you done for me lately?  Not a damn thing.  Give your house number to another staphanger who cares!


What Has He Done for You Lately Dude #2
Whitney Houston's song "Someone For Me" literally summed up my Friday night last week.
I'm here alone on a Friday night
Waiting here beside the phone
The TV, radio, and me
Really ain't been getting along
I wish that I could find a way
To party to the break of day
And there I'd be sure to meet
The guy that would be special to me


I found him alright! My friends called me out of bed around midnight to hit the town.  For those who know me, I've never been one to turn down a party, so my booty obliged as it was ready to shake a tail feather.  We get to the spot, and after some absolutely wonderful Malibu Black and Grand Marnier (disclaimer: don't try this at home) I was more than willing to hit the dance floor.  Just like out of a movie, or any random bar/lounge/club in NYC, this guy walks over to me.  Tall, dark, and handsome.  We make small talk, then go outside to exchange phone numbers.  Yes, he had a cell phone. As we are talking, he mentions that he admired my pedicure and that I had nice feet.  Hmm, a foot guy, OK, I can dig it.  He even says he gets pedicures.  Listen, I don't think there is anything wrong with a man making sure his hands and feet look presentable, so I wasn't worried about that.  However, I was completely weirded out after accepting his friend request and browsing his photos to find... HE HAD A PHOTO ALBUM OF HIS PEDICURED FEET!  He had a foot fetish alright. Of his own damn feet! So he called. Twice.  I couldn't pick up.  An hour after the last missed call I suspect I will ever receive from him, the following post (from his FB account) pops up on my home screen:
Its so simple that it is so complicated.
You have a good man showing you interest and you neglect him for another showing you reflections.
Now you are treated like what you chose, shit, all men are dogs and no good. Steups!
Sleep on the bed how you made it. No sympathy here for choosing a dog over a lion.
Long Live The King...
EKWIPOIZ!

Dude? Seriously?! What have you done for me lately? You  know what, you're right, I will sleep on my bed how I made it.  Without a self-foot fetish freak in it!  Weirdo!  Side note: He was from trinidad, so if anyone can translate 'steups' and 'EKWIPOIZ' it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

What Has He Done for You Lately Dudes #3+
This will be short and sweet.  I know after a hard day's work, all you look forward to besides getting home, is getting a seat on the train.  I get it.  However, if the train car is 95% men, there is NO REASON, I should have to give up my seat to a disabled person so you can sit your lazy, dusty, want respect but can't give it, staring into space like you don't see that big ass walking cane in front if you, behind in a seat. 
Dudes/ Seriously?!  What have you done for ANYONE lately? There is no excuse.  Eff chivalry.  Where is the respect for yourself?! Just remember, you will get old one day, and I hope- for your sake- you qualify for access-a-ride service.  If not, I'll be waiting on the Brooklyn bound 5 train just for you. Douche bags. 

I know all men aren't sorry!  This isn't about you. Unless you don't have a cell phone, have a self-foot fetish, or won't give up your seat to the elderly/disabled! :-)

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Baby Let's Cruise...

Norwegian Sky

So I went on a much needed vacation this past memorial weekend.  It was awesome!  Definitely a Norwegian Cruise Line fan.  What makes this trip special is that I actually didn't go with any of my girlfriends.  This vacay was traveled with my sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, and 3 cousins.  Sure, I had my doubts, and that I may pull my hair out; but surprisingly I had an amazing time and can't wait to do it again with the family!  I must give a personal shout-out to my brother-in-law who held the bar down with me. Come on, you really didn't think I was gonna have a dry weekend did you?! 

This trip (in addition to the many cute Caribbean guys I've met) single-handily convinced me that my life needs to be near a beach. We visited Norwegian's private beach, Great Stirrup Cay, and I thought I wouldn't enjoy being around all the people that were vacationing on the ship, but it was amazing. We had so much fun soaking up the sun.  Nassau, Bahamas stole my heart.  Our tour guide was phenomenal (conch fritters anyone?), the scenery was beautiful, and the locals were hospitable (a free scooter ride to the bar? OK!).  I may not move to an island, but Florida is looking really nice on my radar right now.  If this writing thing pans out for me, I'm so there. A girl can dream can't she?

Great Stirrup Cay

Condos at Atlantis Resort

The staterooms and service were excellent.  I've never been in a twin bed that was so comfortable. It made my old days in a dorm bed feel like I slept on a prison cot all those years.  The crew was on auto-pilot with the niceness. I never saw any of them get frustrated, curse under their breath, anything.  They weren't annoyingly nice, just enough to make me muster a smile and actually say good morning...despite my not being a morning person AND after my sister woke me up at 7am to go  sightseeing. To make me smile after that takes some good energy/aura.  Thumbs up!

Last but not least, I was pleasantly surprised to find that just because this was a "family friendly" cruise, the party scene was  so fun!  Clubs, deck parties, BARS, you name it.  It was fun for the entire family, until 1am... then the kiddies had to go to bed (or party in Aunt Tiff's room b/c of course I had an ipod dock:-) and it was adult fun time!  It really was no different than your typical night spot: there was a girl puking her guts out in the club bathroom. Just another Saturday night in Manhattan, right? 
White Hot Deck Party. My view from the stage:-)

My only undewhelming experience was touring the Atlantis resort.  I don't suggest visiting unless you are actually staying there. You can walk through a casino on the ship. I will end my cruise wrap-up by saying I highly recommend Norwegian for your cruising needs, I loved vacationing with my family, and I have one kick-ass tan.  Yes, black girls like getting tan also:-)


Disclaimer: I did use SPF 100+, we have to be careful! Sunscreen protection is key in the prevention of melanoma.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

My Open Letter to Scumbag Parents....

There is an old saying that children "don't ask to be born."  Of course when it comes from a rebellious teenager, their mouths should be washed out with soap. But when put in the context of adult speak, it is so profound. 

Mr. Schwarzenegger, being a man will always trump being a conservative Republican.  With that being said, the fact that you cheated on your wife and had a lovechild is neither surprising nor unexpected- especially since you are a politician.    However, taking away a young man's chance to grow up as a brother to his half-siblings or a son to his father is inexcusable.  Who were you really trying to protect here?  You impregnate your housekeeper WHILE YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT and instead of being a decent human being by owning up to responsibility, you kindle the fire to dark family secrets and psychological despair.  For someone who does not believe in abortion, you definitely made a lane for it.  Just because your son is alive doesn't mean you didn't abort him.  You did. Own it and live with it. Scumbag.

Mildred Baena, of course women also cheat, and you are just as responsible for this mess as the Terminator.  However, the fact that you strutted your pregnant self around your and his REAL family is some bold shit (sorry, expletive was necessary).  It's ironic that you are now in "hiding."  When you come out, and you will-predictably with Gloria Allred as your lawyer- don't even think of playing the victim.  DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! You were scared to lose your job?  You are a housekeeper. In L.A.  He made you keep quiet? I'm sure he did, but where is your dignity as a mother?  Why would you willingly let your son grow up not knowing his true family?  I hate when parents say they were "protecting" their children.  HOW?  Really, I need you to explain it to me like I'm a 5 yr old.  Did you love this man?  Perhaps. Guess what, I don't give a crap! He was married and so were you.  Did you really think the governor of California would leave his wife for you? I blame JLo. Ladies, Maid in Manhattan is JUST A MOVIE.  No, I'm not cutting Ms. Baena any slack. None.  You chose to have unprotected sex with a married man, and have his child. Yet, despite all of your motherly instincts, you forced him to live a lie for the first 14 yrs of his life: he will spend the rest of it trying to come to terms with the truth. Scumbag.

Juliane McCrery I will not even give you space on my blog.  I am only typing your name so anyone who reads this will know you deserve to be punished to the fullest extent of the law.  There is never an excuse to hurt children. NEVER. Kill yourself.  RIP Camden Hughes and I am prayerful that you will know true love in your next life.    

Women and men without children are often called "selfish."  But isn't having or not having children a selfish act in and of itself? For whatever reason, it is a choice.  And once here, they are little human beings that deserve unconditional love, support, and TRUTH. Whenever a child is hurt as a result of delusional, irrational explanations of trying to protect them, I take it personal. Whether I know the child or not.  I respect my elders, but I respect children even more.

Sincerely,
Opinionated Diva 

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Get Inspired. Discover You. Inspire: The True Circle of Life

In the age of ipods, ipads, nooks, kindles and the like, it's quite the mystery why hard copy books aren't free.  I am one of the few old-school readers who believe that reading is an experience; and for me that means turning every page.  So how does one with a love of books get through life?  My friends, I have found the answer.  After years of being a literary loner, I am now the proud owner of a New York Public Library Card.

In the 4 short weeks I have been a library card holder, I can honestly say it has changed my life.  After checking out my first book, I decided to embark on a journey to learn as much about my history as possible.  Thinking back I realize that what we are taught in grade school, even college, is maybe 15% of the whole story; no matter the subject.  So my posts will still of course always have the OD humor (again, I can't make my life up if I tried), but I will be writing more serious pieces here and there.  I don't think I am the best writer in the world, but I do believe it is a gift.  If I can inspire someone, young or old, and enhance their life experience through the power of words, I believe it's my duty to do so. 

Random [Opinionated Diva] Side Note: 23rd street NY Public library- It would help me SO much if you actually put the catalog ranges on the book shelves.  I love walking blindly and stumbling upon a literary treasure, but not if it's gonna take longer than my lunch break! Love you more:-)

This story is made in part by my good friend Susana Hernandez who introduced me to the idea of getting a library card.  You too should get inspired. I highly recommend it.  Find your public library

Monday, April 04, 2011

OD's Series of Unfortunate Events (aka Lemony Snicket's Jinx)

I like to think of myself in general as a good person with an overwhelming desire to keep my energy and aura in a positive space.  Which is why it's beyond me that the most crazy shit happens in my unassuming-just wanna live-life.

Unfortunate Event #1: My encounter with homeless people has to be exponentially higher than the average New Yorker.  I think it's because I have an inviting demeanor.  Not in a come hither kind of way, but a I know you had a bad break in life and I don't blame you for it- just don't eff with me way.  In the past 2 months I've literally had the funniest encounters that are so weird it's too funny to be scary.  First up is the man I like to call the Window Washer.  The only problem? Instead of a squidgy, he tried to wash car windows with a regular mop.  I was trying to hail a cab and when everyone shooed him away with their horn, he walked over to me and just started talking gibberish. Why he wanted to engage in baby talk with me is still a mystery.  Then we have the Bold One.  I picked up some food and was on my way home when, of course, I'm on the train with a homeless guy.  He passed everyone in the train car and walked over to me and said, "Are you going to give me your food?"  You see, it wasn't that he was asking for food, because I normally am more than willing to help anyone when I can, but a friend once said that I have an issue with people who have a sense of entitlement. That pretty much sums it up.  Even if you are homeless, don't expect that I will give you my food because you want it and somehow deserve it. I gave him the look that said, Seriously, do I look like I don't finish any of my meals? Have a seat.  Finally we have The Fighter.  Now this one was funny because she was having an argument with her other personality, but looking at me. Everyone on the train thought she was talking to me when she said, "We don't have to do it right here, we can take it outside, I ain't scared of you." Again, it's all about the look- Lady, if you think I'm going to give up my good seat on the train and move from your crazy ass you got another thing coming.  You and your other personality need to duke it out elsewhere.  She calmed her nerves and continued her conversation away from me.  And there you have it. Oh wait, how did I forget about The Rapper who spit an entire verse for me through the window at a burrito joint.  I digress...

Unfortunate Event #2: Ah yes, my neighbors from hell. They were back at it again.  You will have to read my previous post Fifth Times a Charm: OD's Moving Story for background.  Just know they are complete lunatics!  I have no problem ignoring them, but this last time was the wrong night.  So, I have my girlfriends over for an impromptu house warming. 5 people altogether.  Around 10:30pm ON A SATURDAY NIGHT, the super (who is smoking cancer sticks in my hallway) and one of the board members knocks on my door and says, "The neighbors downstairs are saying it's too loud and we were down there for 10 minutes and we can here you."  Uh, a-duh- the walls are thin, and we live in an apartment building genius.  So I proceed to tell the board member (I can no longer converse with the super after he asked if I informed the board of my "event" OF 5 PEOPLE-it's pointless to have an intellectual conversation after such statement) that I have had problems with these neighbors from the day I moved in and like I already told everyone, including the board, I'm not going to live on their schedule.  If they want to go to bed at 10:30pm on a Saturday or not hear people living above them they should buy a house.  Long story short, the board member agreed with me that the noise he heard was not out of the ordinary and when he went back to speak with them they wouldn't open the door. Figures. Nut jobs.  I'm so over them.  I'm over the super also.  Not only have I asked him for a key to the new door they put in 2 MONTHS ago, I firmly believe he is friends with the people (if they are even human) downstairs.  I hope they don't mind my Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD because it WILL be played the next 30 days- in addition to my morning treadmill routine- I have a cruise to prepare for!  If you see anything in the news about a Brooklyn neighbor dispute showdown, you might want to check here...

Unfortunate Event #3: My Saturday night was ruined by The Obnoxious Sidekick and his Horny Dwarf.  I really was enjoying my night with the girls.  Despite this being the same night I had the above incident with my neighbors, we all brushed it off and continued our fun.  Instead of taking our ass home after the first club, we went to what we like to call a hood spot, or ghetto for lack of better terms.  Everything was going great until....Tyrone. This guy had to be 5ft tall and maybe 130 lbs soaking wet.  My teeth aren't perfect, but I'm not going to be grinning in your face trying to get some play if it looks like David Beckham played a game or two in my mouth.  Tyrone- he doesn't think that way.  Ironically, even though he tried to talk to every single one of us, he really wasn't my problem.  You know how there is always that one guy who isn't considered the "cute" one in the group, and to get attention he acts obnoxious hoping someone will think it's cute?  Yeah,  that would be Jason.  Somehow we all ended up going to breakfast with these clowns.  I am in my own world, not bothering anyone, not being anti-social, just being me, waiting for our order to arrive.  But Obnoxious Sidekick basically egged Tyrone to come sit beside me, and out of his own misjudgement- touch me.  Now, why did he do that?  Instead of kicking his ass like I wanted to, I had to check him and his friend, which of course made me look like that girl. I absolutely hate that because I don't invite stupidity in my direction, but if I check someone on it, I'm uptight.  Really? You are an over sized cornball, and your friend is a dwarfed minion. GTFOH with that.  Ugh.

I think you get my point.  My life! I couldn't make it up if I wanted to.  And believe me, 85% of the time I wish it were make believe.  Ahh, the life of OD.

Disclaimer: I apologize for my extended hiatus-again.  I realize if I want this to be a success I have to keep it current so you guys willingly come back on the regular!  There is no excuse this time- well there is, but I can't stand people who are full of excuses, so I won't provide one. Just know I'm back... 

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Fifth Times a Charm: OD's Moving Story

The last few weeks have been so hectic. Between work and preparing for my move across the Hudson, I haven't had time to even think straight!  Since my stress level at work is high on a daily basis, I won't discuss it here. Just know it goes without saying.  I will, however, discuss my move!!

First, I must say that I absolutely love my new space and the fact that I'm sitting in a room that doesn't count as my kitchen, dining, living, AND bedroom makes me one happy woman.  With that being said, moving sucks! I have moved 5 times in less than 5 years.  Can you imagine? Every apartment was an upgrade from the last, but I was just never able to call any of them home.  I finally think I found it (not without a drawback of course- to be discussed later). 

This was my first experience moving apartments in the snow; after a major snowstorm no less.  It sucked to infinty.  I really didn't have alot of stuff, so I thought.  Specifically, my new treadmill.  Everyone convinced me that I should wait to put it together once I got my new space since it would be easier to move in the box. WRONG.  It weighed 300 lbs, the box fell apart, the dolly was a joke, and to top it off- had we put it together we could have rolled it since it came with wheels.  In addition, I was moving from (and to) an apartment on a one-way street.  So here's what we have: 10 inches of snow-no parking, a Toys R Us baby casting at the studio down the block-a bunch of strollers in my freaking way, and cops-no go on blocking the street with the moving truck.  Luckily my next door neighbor was gone so we were able to use their driveway.  There is a God.

It was a struggle, but we made it.  Little did I know- that was the easy part.  Everyone and their mother wanted to join me in the Holland Tunnel.  What should have been a 30-40 minute trip to Brooklyn took 2 HOURS.  We finally got to the new space, and of course- no parking.  After circling, what seemed like forever, we found a spot...at the end of the block.  My feet were completely wet from all the snow by the time this move was over.  At least there was an elevator.  Cold, aching, and wet I had to make the trip BACK to Jersey to drop off the truck, then BACK to Brooklyn (no car: PATH & MTA all the way baby).  My day started at 8 am and ended at 11pm.  This move was the most challenging and yet, most rewarding of my life thus far.  I'm finally home.  After it was done I said, There is no way in hell I'm ever moving. Unless of course, it's with my boyfriend or husband- so you know what that means...I ain't moving.  At least for a while anyway.

I've been here exactly 15 days and don't have any complaints. Except One.  Dunh Dunh Dunnnnhhh- The downstairs neighbor.  Granted, I just moved in and I'm sure he's been here for years; living in a building takes some getting used to.  But I live alone and don't personaly care about noise.  My upstairs neighbors are going to love me: they can bowl in their living room for all I care.  Now, the first encounter was totally my fault because I was testing out my new treadmill and it was kinda late. He told me he has to wake up early for work.  Because I'm Southern and have manners, I thought to myself- Tiff, it is late, and you need to wake up early to get your exercise in anyway.  Fine, I changed around the hours I would normally get on the treadmill: it's a win-win since he will be at work when I wake up. However, tonite (which prompted this post) I'm talking to my friend (on the phone by the way) in my living room. I hear him bang on his ceiling.  Are you freaking kidding me?  What is this a dormitory!? Or better yet, a prison?? I will in NO way, shape, or form stop living my life at 10pm because you need your beauty sleep. And he's not even cute!

Alas, I think he and I will have a love-hate relationship with each other.  I really think he's trying to feel me out, or intimidate me because I'm new.  Either way, my southern charm only goes so far.  I'm in a New York state of mind now, and after the experience I had moving, he doesn't even want to go there with me!

In other news, I can't wait to go shopping for my new space (which includes area rugs- I know it cuts down on noise in multiple apt dwellings- SEE I am trying).  I already have my color schemes picked out and Mom is on it with the drapery.  I will be in housewarming mode in no time.  Maybe I'll invite my neighbor...   

*I have to give a personal thank you to my former roomate in crime Francois who has packed every UHaul truck with me from NC to NJ to NY.  Thanks! :-:   I must also thank my 6th man team Danie/Kervin for stepping in at the last minute to save the move in its final hour:-)

** :-: is not a typo, it's an emoticon I made up and shall remain nameless!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Good Morning Random Ramble

It's been exactly 22 days since I last posted on my lovely OD (shot out to my friends Nova/Blacque that suggested it--and my niece Olivia- also called OD!).  I think about writing every single day of my life.  It may be hard to believe, but it's true.  I write blog entries in my head all the time!  I've just been working at the day job, preparing for my move, annnnnnnnnd getting the official launch of my very own website together- where you will be able to get an abundance of everything I love to write about. I'm very excited for what's in store. 

I woke up this morning and my fingers literally made me write today, no matter how random.  So, the big news in my life, besides working on my website of course, is moving to Brooklyn, NY!!!!  It has been 4 years, 3 months, 8 days, and counting since I took a one-way flight from NC to begin life anew in NYC. I've been moonlighting as a Jersey Girl.  I thought Mayor Cory Booker and I would at least be courting by now, but he wasn't impressed by twitter advances-- or the fact that I trashed the city of Newark in one of my older posts (Speak for Yourself...).  Of course this is all contingent on the idea that he saw my tweets or blog post, but I digress.  Hello Brooklyn! 

I would love to keep writing, but my mind is doing too much right now, and I have to pack.  Just wanted to stop by, if even for my own sanity, and write.  There has been alot of things happening this month of January 2011, but I'm trying to save them for my new website. So make sure you check it out when it's up!!!

Sunday, January 02, 2011

My 2010 Year in Review: The Short Version

So much has happened in 2010; but in the grand book of my life, it's really just a paragraph.  I will write my post accordingly- well, longer than a paragraph, but you get my point...

Honestly, 2010 for me has been a year of overall contentment.  Under normal circumstances, this would be a good thing.  However, the last time I was content with my life- I left everything in NC and started a life in NYC.  So 2010 has taught me if nothing else- EVOLVE.

I resurrected my blog in 2010.  That is the absolute highlight of my year.  Doing something you are passionate about gives life.  I breathe this blog.  Even though I don't post as frequently as I want, that's what 2011 is for :-)  I have big things in store for Opinionated Diva, it's my baby.

Speaking of life and babies, one of my besties is pregnant!  2010 was the year of the baby; praise G I wasn't one of them.  But I have a feeling this little one is going to be alllll mine- well at least in my mind :-)  I do love babies! 

My love life in 2010 was not the best, but for some reason it did leave me hopeful about the future.  Something about being in my 30s- confidence is abundant.  I'm not the baddest b*tch, but I'm getting there.

2010 was also year of fitness for me. I engaged and evaded it.  I don't have a new year's resolution (it's like setting myself up for failure!),  BUT I am taking the challenge to be fierce, fit, and fab this year! You can too.  Visit www.fiercefitfab.com

Speaking of appearance.  I actually rocked my natural hair this year! What I love about being a Black woman is that I can rock so many styles.  I'm not by any means a self-proclaimed Afrocentric kind of chick, but it was freeing to actually smile in the rain and not freak out because I forgot my umbrella!

Lastly, my 2010 ended where it all started.  At home in Wilmington, NC.  I enjoyed my vacation immensely.  Tomorrow I will be on my way back to reality.  I'm kinda sad, but kinda excited.  Big moves are in store for me.  Literally and figuratively!  Until next time....