When did you seriously begin to think about college? For me it was the seventh grade. It was at this time I learned from my dad that there was no college fund for me. I wasn't hurt by it- I mean, I really didn't understand what it meant (at the time). My interpretation? Somehow money, in and of itself, could prevent me from getting the education I know they wanted me to have. In my 12 year old mind, the only way to ensure I went to college was to make good grades, get accepted into a school, and the rest would work itself out. Actually, it's still working itself out- yes, I'm talking about student loans.
The purpose of this blog entry is not about student loans per se, but parents' role in planning for their children's education and economic future. The inspiration for this topic came from a twitter post: The money u borrow for your college loan should not exceed what you plan to make 1st year in the workplace. Don't live in debt! My immediate response was this sounds good in theory, but it's easier said than done. For some reason the discussion in general stayed in my head, which can only mean one thing. And thus, this blog post was born....
The only way to decrease college expenses, such as student loans, is for parents to plan ahead. Of course there are amazing stories of children overcoming adversity to pay their way through college; and while admirable, this isn't the norm. Unfortunately, student loans are a necessary evil. Understanding how to make sensible financial choices is just necessary. College is more expensive. Families are losing jobs and their homes, some even their retirement savings. Planning for your child's future can be done, but at all costs? Planning will always take a second seat to reality.
Am I in debt because of my student loans? Yes. Should my mom and dad have saved for college? My parents would give their life for me, so throwing dollars in an account for my higher education was never the issue. Taking care of my sick grandparents, feeding four children, making sure we had a home....was always the issue, always the reality. Single parents have it even harder [my sister Kim- chime in here!]. Parents lead by example, and if that includes a college fund- perfect! If it doesn't-for whatever reason, as long as you have that conversation (maybe not as bluntly as my father ;-), I foresee a bright future.
Side note: This is not to diminish the importance of saving for your child's future. Parent education on the types of planning options available would be a step in the right direction; rather than a do it or else approach.
Side-Side note: I know my blog entry title is pretty lame, but it's 3am and I couldn't think of anything better. I'm open to suggestions!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Introducing the "This is Some Bullsh*t" Party
Reasons to join: If you agree with any of the following (or have your own bullsh*t to share):
-Why is 'bi-partisan' such a dirty word? Working with the opposition to bring resolution for the masses is at least worth trying, isn't it? The House democrats rejecting President Obama's negotiation with republicans over tax breaks and unemployment benefits really rubbed me the wrong way. It was rejected because the bill would continue to give tax breaks to the wealthy. Here's a newsflash. The wealthy will always have a break: they are wealthy. While politicians sit in a carpeted room with comfy chairs and discuss the future of our country, we are living it. This is some bullsh*t.
-Every day as I walk the city of New York, I see tons of landscape rejuvenation projects, new buildings, new stadiums, etc. Yet, city officials increase fares for mass transit and now the Fire Department of New York (FDNY) wants to charge a fee for coming to the scene of an accident! This is some bullsh*t.
-Wikileaks. This is some bullsh*t.
-Sara Palin being named one of Barbara Walters' Most Fascinating People 2010. This is some bullsh*t.
To be continued...
-Why is 'bi-partisan' such a dirty word? Working with the opposition to bring resolution for the masses is at least worth trying, isn't it? The House democrats rejecting President Obama's negotiation with republicans over tax breaks and unemployment benefits really rubbed me the wrong way. It was rejected because the bill would continue to give tax breaks to the wealthy. Here's a newsflash. The wealthy will always have a break: they are wealthy. While politicians sit in a carpeted room with comfy chairs and discuss the future of our country, we are living it. This is some bullsh*t.
-Every day as I walk the city of New York, I see tons of landscape rejuvenation projects, new buildings, new stadiums, etc. Yet, city officials increase fares for mass transit and now the Fire Department of New York (FDNY) wants to charge a fee for coming to the scene of an accident! This is some bullsh*t.
-Wikileaks. This is some bullsh*t.
-Sara Palin being named one of Barbara Walters' Most Fascinating People 2010. This is some bullsh*t.
To be continued...
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Me: Unscripted. Ep01
The phrase I use to describe my blog is 'a perspective on existing in all that life is, does, and will be.' I also feel that my blog is schizophrenic- in a good way (if there is such a thing). I am affected by everything from pop culture to CNN to strangers on the street. When I feel, I write. The only niche I need to make my blog successful are living, breathing, imperfect you. With that being said, this post is completely random. I just want to share what's going on in the colorful mind of Tiff.
Random thought #1- Jimmy Kimmel is hilarious. I've come to love him since I only have 10 channels- 5 in Spanish.
Random thought #2- I am having the absolute worst week at work (with the exception of decorating my office for Christmas). I won't even elaborate. Just know it was @#^$^&%&*@ (insert any word, I'm sure it applies).
Random thought #3- My love life sucks. Well, I take that back, it's not that bad. It's in the danger zone though.
Random thought #4- I'm really ready to find a new apt. I like my studio in Jersey. I don't like the candy cane ornament made of bells that my landlord put on the door, or her dogs that bark every time I turn my key, or the pictures of her family in the hallway (it's a converted 2 family home). It's nice, don't get me wrong, but I just want an actual bedroom. With a door.
Random thought #5 (associated with #4)- a new apt with more space will make me and NuNu a better family. He is on his 8th life.
Random thought #6- This wikileaks situation is out of hand. I will definitely post a full blog on this later.
That's all I have right now. I am working on 4 hours of sleep and though insomnia has no intentions of leaving me tonight, my fingers are fighting the power. This was fun- I think I will give my Unscripted posts a recurring role. When I get my official-official website, my schizo posts will be on meds, and much more organized :-) Until then.......
Random thought #1- Jimmy Kimmel is hilarious. I've come to love him since I only have 10 channels- 5 in Spanish.
Random thought #2- I am having the absolute worst week at work (with the exception of decorating my office for Christmas). I won't even elaborate. Just know it was @#^$^&%&*@ (insert any word, I'm sure it applies).
Random thought #3- My love life sucks. Well, I take that back, it's not that bad. It's in the danger zone though.
Random thought #4- I'm really ready to find a new apt. I like my studio in Jersey. I don't like the candy cane ornament made of bells that my landlord put on the door, or her dogs that bark every time I turn my key, or the pictures of her family in the hallway (it's a converted 2 family home). It's nice, don't get me wrong, but I just want an actual bedroom. With a door.
Random thought #5 (associated with #4)- a new apt with more space will make me and NuNu a better family. He is on his 8th life.
Random thought #6- This wikileaks situation is out of hand. I will definitely post a full blog on this later.
That's all I have right now. I am working on 4 hours of sleep and though insomnia has no intentions of leaving me tonight, my fingers are fighting the power. This was fun- I think I will give my Unscripted posts a recurring role. When I get my official-official website, my schizo posts will be on meds, and much more organized :-) Until then.......
Friday, December 03, 2010
Speak For Yourself
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| Patti Samone/The Star-Ledger |
Though crime is down, the highest rate of murders occur in Essex (2009 murders=117), Camden (2009 murders=40), and Hudson counties (2009 murders= 30). Despite these figures, Essex/Hudson county has made a decision that will result in blood on their hands. On November 30, 2010, the city of Newark- the state's largest police department, finalized layoffs of 167 police officers. These layoffs primarily account for officers hired to the force since 2006. Jersey City police department is on the brink of laying off 82 officers. What is the rationale for the largest police layoff in over 30 years? Money. These are the facts, now it's time for my opinion.
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| Photo: New Jersey State Police http://www.njsp.org/ |
I understand that cities across America are feeling the financial crisis. I also understand that in order close budge gaps, city officials have to make drastic changes, which 99% of the time require layoffs. However, to lay off over 200 officers in a county that has proven year after year to have one of the highest murder rates in the state is unacceptable. By laying off these workers, they have literally signed the death certificate for countless citizens in Newark and Jersey City. While I fault the city for making this disastrous decision, I do feel they were left with no choice. Who do I blame the most? The organization that is supposed to protect police officers: Policeman's Benevolent Association. The PBA claims they advocate for workers, yet they allowed 167 police officers in one of the most dangerous cities in America to be released from duty. The local news has been filled with concerned citizens who are now afraid to leave their homes, or keep their businesses open at normal hours because they fear violence is going to increase with less police presence.
The union was involved in negotiations with Newark Mayor Cory Booker, and despite proposed concessions to at least save some jobs, the union refused to negotiate further. I find it appalling that this union advocates for "the people," but the members are the ones who end up losing. Mayor Booker and union president Derrick Hatcher still have a job. Neither of which requires them to physically protect our community from the gangs and murderers ready to take over local neighborhoods. The final email exchange between the union and the mayor's office was written as follows, This e-mail is to inform you that our membership has expressed no interest in re-opening the contract or executing any side agreements with the City of Newark regarding the Lay Offs. Does this sound like high officials negotiating, or two men fighting over whose ego is bigger?
I'm sure the police department is corrupt; show me one that isn't. Fighting corruption by making our community more dangerous isn't a results-driven mission; isn't that the purpose of unions? To get results for their members? This decision is unethical and immoral at best. I want police officers to get equal rights and equal pay, but what is the primary goal here? To protect and serve, of course, but who? Not only have the mayor's office and PBA put the community at risk, they put 167 officers on the unemployment line. Almost 100 more will follow suit if the city of Jersey City can't come to an agreement. We need unions to maintain work-life balance; but giving violent criminals the upper hand is a futile attempt at success. Union members need to stop eating the bullsh*t they are being fed and realize when it comes to protecting your community and taking care of your family, you have to speak for yourself.
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
America: Slaves of Freedom
In 1996, I went on a school trip to Europe. My mom was able to walk me all the way to the gate, watch me board the plane, and bid me adieu as I took off. How times have changed. Today, unless you have a plane ticket, there is no need to even go inside the airport. After September 2001, our lives as Americans changed as we knew it. Traveling was never going to be the same. Anyone who wore a turban, or even appeared to resemble middle-eastern decent was considered a potential threat. As recently as last month, Fox News contributor Juan Williams came under fire for saying he still gets nervous when on a plane with anyone wearing Muslim garb. I don't recall anyone (aside from Muslims themselves) raising concern about being unfairly targeted in airports. I don't remember seeing petitions, FB groups, boycotts, etc. I'm not surprised. It's the classic case of American selfishness- if it doesn't apply to you, it's not a problem. As long as you look American as apple pie and your privacy isn't the one being invaded- it's not a problem. But now that we all have to show TSA agents our goodies through a scanner, or be subject to a stern fondling (all to make sure we don't get blown up by the way) it's the biggest violation of individual privacy in the history of this Unites States? Interesting.
What's ironic about this issue is if you ask children in inner-city schools about being scanned and patted down, they may wonder why no one ever petitioned for the removal of scanners and full body searches they endure. And we're not talking vacations or business trips: we're talking just getting to class. Everyday. More than 30% of urban schools use some form of advanced security measure, compared to less than half of this percentage for suburban schools. Think if all the schools in the US were required to have this security measure. Can you imagine the PTA riots that would ensue? But what makes a certain type of person/community more susceptible to advanced security measures if the objective is to potentially save lives, especially when it's statistically proven that young people aren't lost just in urban areas? Where have mass school killings and hostage situations occurred? Suburbia. How many of these schools have advanced security measures? Right. Again, interesting.
We are the land of the free and the home of the brave, but when are we going to collectively say enough is enough? Sure, the bark was bigger than the bite: there have been no major flight delays as a result of the more stringent security measures, but why did the media (aka the matrix) take this story and run with it to begin with? On the flip side, why has there never been a mainstream new story to cover the disparity of advanced security in American schools? We are so used to being free, we take it for granted. And because we feel a sense of entitlement and control, we do it at the risk of blowing the #%^ up! I can't get with that, and I wont. I believe in freedom to the infinite degree, but we have no idea what it's like to be terrorized in the sky. I never want to find out. Get over it already!
Sidenote: I am not versed enough in world politics to write a full blog entry on the subject, but because I have wonderful Asian friends, I would like to extend my blessings of world peace over North/South Korea. Give Peace a chance!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Papa Don't Preach
First-I never feel like I have to explain myself since it is, after all, my blog. But when it comes to touchy subjects, I like to be perfectly clear as my intentions are never to offend (on purpose). This is not about church. Not about organized religion. Not about my beliefs or an attack on yours. I don't make the news and I damn sure don't make up the news, so if you have a problem with anything written regarding this entry, take it up with Rev. Miller not me. He can be reached at his local NJ church, or a swingers party near you.
I am not in a position of leadership or power, so I can't imagine what the pressure is like to always be perfect, or as close to it as humanly possible. But I can imagine that it is common sense to know that you should practice what you preach-pun intended. Otherwise the sh*t is inevitably going to hit the fan. Like, really, what was he thinking??! First, to turn your anger towards a social networking site as the ruler of evil is a little unrealistic don't you think? Ok granted, people have been beaten, stalked, and even murdered over Facebook- so maybe he has a point. BUT, to force church officials to delete or resign from their position for keeping a FB account is abuse of power, illegal even (are churches allowed to have unions? This may be the new trend thanks to Rev. Miller). Technology is never the problem. It wouldn't even exist if there wasn't a person on the other end of the keyboard dictating information. To blame FB for life's issues is complete and utter denial. The problem is that people take social networking sites like FB, Myspace (when it was cool, and don't front- we ALL had one) so seriously, their lives revolve around posts and tweets. I am a supporter of all social media, whether I have an account or not, but I refuse to let it ruin my life or influence my judgement of those I associate with. If you are an asshole on FB, you're probably one in real life; but, let me be the judge of that.
Now, the scandal. What's funny about this part is that it happened in 2003! A newspaper was going to revisit the story since Rev. Miller made news regarding FB, which prompted all of the hoopla. According to court documents, Miller, his wife, and the church assistant engaged in threesome's while the assistant's wife watched (and I'm sure participated-but they left that out). My main problem with this- why did it go to court? After it was found out that the assistant was sleeping with other female members of the church, a criminal case was filed. WHY? It makes no sense to have a court of law preside over infidelity unless it is during a divorce. The case was dismissed (obviously). I am not an expert on religion or sex (though my sister did call me Dr. Ruth after my last blog entry), but I can tell you that we are all human. Despite your beliefs, what it takes to please you in the bedroom should not be up for judgement. When you keep it PRIVATE. And I literally mean in the bedroom; according to the court documents it took place on church grounds. Even a sinner like me will never be cool with that. Ever.
No matter how by the book (no pun intended with this one, seriously) you try to live your life, I believe that we all subconsciously sin every day. I am neither for or against swingers, S&M, bondage, fetish, kama sutra, traditional, WHATEVER. I don't care. However, when you take a leadership position, you should lead by example. And if your job is telling people to live their life a certain way and judge those who don't live it the same way, all while living it the way of the people you judge (and apparently envy since some will risk their livelihood to do it), I have a serious problem with that. And you should too. I'm going to leave it at that, or my post will become less and less objective because I personally know (and know people who know) how it feels to be judged based on the things we believe, despite showing our respect/love/fear for the universe and those in and beyond it.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Fake it 'Til You Make It
The inspiration for this post came from a conversation with girlfriends at a diner in Manhattan (which will remain nameless unless #1 they pay me for the free promotion or #2 they promote my blog- for free). It's actually a 2-parter: 1 for the ladies, and 1 for the fellas. The even better news? We get to talk about sex!
When one woman has a problem, all women have a problem because if we haven't experienced it yet, we will. On the flip side, if any of this has to do with a man, guys... just listen and learn. As a result, I felt compelled to share my thoughts on a couple of subjects in terms of relationships and sex. Do I have a man? No. Do I have sex? None of your damn business. Just know that I know what I'm talking about on this one, trust me.
LADIES
The topic of the day: orgasms. Oh yes, don't be afraid of the word. Say it. Internalize it. Visualize it. Do you feel it? Nothing? Eh, I figured as much. There is no woman on earth that has experienced an orgasm EVERY time they have sex. It's impossible. Not that it can't happen every time, but that it's happened to you every time. If you are reading this and think, 'She must not know me,' or 'I get mine every time,' or yada yada yada, then yes, I'm talking to you too. But not now, the first step is admitting denial, and we don't have that kind of time. If you are reading this and have accepted that yes, time and again, you do not climax during sex-keep reading. Ladies, we know that 9 times out of 10, for whatever reason, your partner will ask if you climaxed. I don't know who told guys to do that. It's just irrational thinking to ask during, or even after it's over. I will address that with them, but I digress. Seriously, what are the options? Go there, or say whatever you have to say to satisfy his ego in that moment. ((I feel laser beams destroying this blog post as I type)). Hear me out. I am not saying to accept or deny what's happening (or not) in the bedroom. Of course women should be satisfied, but why even go there with him? Like at that very moment? It's just going to exhaust you, and he's already exhausted: more than likely he did climax and this conversation is going to be one-sided- he will be sleep in the next 2 minutes. In addition, at least 1% of the men who ask do so because the look on your face during sex said I really need to get a manicure this weekend. The take-home message is having sex, making love, whatever you call it, is just as much a mental feeling as it is physical. We already know it takes more muscles to frown, so turn that frown upside down, and have the discussion when the time is right, or as my friend said- neutral (meaning- clothes on). If it really sucks that bad, get out of the relationship! 50% of marriages end in divorce, and it's not because of the kids, or the mortgage, or... it's infidelity aka S.E.X. But I won't even go down that road, it's a whoooole other blog entry.
GENTLEMEN
Fellas, fellas, fellas, fellas! I just don't know where to start. Well yes I do: why do you ask questions during sex!? Not the good kind, we like those. I mean, the kind that pretty much requires us to lie, or hurt your feelings- pick your poison (thanks for the phrase- you know who you are!). You see that long preceding paragraph? Do you know why I had to write that paragraph? You guessed it. So, what if I didn't climax, then what? That's like me asking if I look fat in a certain outfit - there is a 50% chance or better you will lie to me. The difference between women and men is that when we ask, we know you are going to lie. And we are ok with it. Because underneath the lie, your intention is for our emotional benefit. I get it, and on behalf of women I thank you (even if they might not agree with me). However, this does not let you off the hook. We are all adults here right; ok, so you know your girl is not going to climax EVERY time? You must?! So why ruin the intimacy by asking something you will NEVER know the answer to. If you are reading this and think, 'she must not know me,' or 'I make my girl climax every time,' or 'I know when my girl climaxes and when she doesn't,' or yada yada yada, then yes I'm talking to you too. You can watch porn until your DVD has scratches on it, but that is not real life. Those guys asking? Yeah, they get paid good money to ask that. Don't even try to understand. You see, I'm on your side; I mean in terms of women telling you what you need to hear. Think of it as reciprocity, the whole intention for emotional benefit bit. BUT, we could eliminate all of that if you just stick to the good questions! What you need to know: the very act of us laying with you is confirmation enough that we aim to please you. Don't get me wrong, you better put in the work to please your partner as well. And believe me, if it's not up to par, we will tell you- in time. But until then, keep the bedroom talk nice and dirty. And if your girl gives you "that "face, just say- You want me to get you a manicure this weekend Baby? [Que fireworks and halo]
When one woman has a problem, all women have a problem because if we haven't experienced it yet, we will. On the flip side, if any of this has to do with a man, guys... just listen and learn. As a result, I felt compelled to share my thoughts on a couple of subjects in terms of relationships and sex. Do I have a man? No. Do I have sex? None of your damn business. Just know that I know what I'm talking about on this one, trust me.
LADIES
The topic of the day: orgasms. Oh yes, don't be afraid of the word. Say it. Internalize it. Visualize it. Do you feel it? Nothing? Eh, I figured as much. There is no woman on earth that has experienced an orgasm EVERY time they have sex. It's impossible. Not that it can't happen every time, but that it's happened to you every time. If you are reading this and think, 'She must not know me,' or 'I get mine every time,' or yada yada yada, then yes, I'm talking to you too. But not now, the first step is admitting denial, and we don't have that kind of time. If you are reading this and have accepted that yes, time and again, you do not climax during sex-keep reading. Ladies, we know that 9 times out of 10, for whatever reason, your partner will ask if you climaxed. I don't know who told guys to do that. It's just irrational thinking to ask during, or even after it's over. I will address that with them, but I digress. Seriously, what are the options? Go there, or say whatever you have to say to satisfy his ego in that moment. ((I feel laser beams destroying this blog post as I type)). Hear me out. I am not saying to accept or deny what's happening (or not) in the bedroom. Of course women should be satisfied, but why even go there with him? Like at that very moment? It's just going to exhaust you, and he's already exhausted: more than likely he did climax and this conversation is going to be one-sided- he will be sleep in the next 2 minutes. In addition, at least 1% of the men who ask do so because the look on your face during sex said I really need to get a manicure this weekend. The take-home message is having sex, making love, whatever you call it, is just as much a mental feeling as it is physical. We already know it takes more muscles to frown, so turn that frown upside down, and have the discussion when the time is right, or as my friend said- neutral (meaning- clothes on). If it really sucks that bad, get out of the relationship! 50% of marriages end in divorce, and it's not because of the kids, or the mortgage, or... it's infidelity aka S.E.X. But I won't even go down that road, it's a whoooole other blog entry.
GENTLEMEN
Fellas, fellas, fellas, fellas! I just don't know where to start. Well yes I do: why do you ask questions during sex!? Not the good kind, we like those. I mean, the kind that pretty much requires us to lie, or hurt your feelings- pick your poison (thanks for the phrase- you know who you are!). You see that long preceding paragraph? Do you know why I had to write that paragraph? You guessed it. So, what if I didn't climax, then what? That's like me asking if I look fat in a certain outfit - there is a 50% chance or better you will lie to me. The difference between women and men is that when we ask, we know you are going to lie. And we are ok with it. Because underneath the lie, your intention is for our emotional benefit. I get it, and on behalf of women I thank you (even if they might not agree with me). However, this does not let you off the hook. We are all adults here right; ok, so you know your girl is not going to climax EVERY time? You must?! So why ruin the intimacy by asking something you will NEVER know the answer to. If you are reading this and think, 'she must not know me,' or 'I make my girl climax every time,' or 'I know when my girl climaxes and when she doesn't,' or yada yada yada, then yes I'm talking to you too. You can watch porn until your DVD has scratches on it, but that is not real life. Those guys asking? Yeah, they get paid good money to ask that. Don't even try to understand. You see, I'm on your side; I mean in terms of women telling you what you need to hear. Think of it as reciprocity, the whole intention for emotional benefit bit. BUT, we could eliminate all of that if you just stick to the good questions! What you need to know: the very act of us laying with you is confirmation enough that we aim to please you. Don't get me wrong, you better put in the work to please your partner as well. And believe me, if it's not up to par, we will tell you- in time. But until then, keep the bedroom talk nice and dirty. And if your girl gives you "that "face, just say- You want me to get you a manicure this weekend Baby? [Que fireworks and halo]
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Act Like Beyonce, Think Like Steve Harvey? Don't Try This at Home.
Prelude: It never crossed my mind that I would actually turn 30 one day. And still be single. And even worse, be the cliche single woman with a cat!? I didn't even know it was a cliche to have a cat! I literally ran into my NuNu at the pet store by chance because his bitch of a mother abandoned him and his siblings. It wasn't until I was introduced to a couple for Halloween and the boyfriend was dressed as the "Cat Lady," that I realized I was a living Halloween costume. Who knew!? Yeah, NuNu isn't the only one I have to thank for my relationship demise.
At first glance, we thanked my beloved Beyonce for making it cool to be "Single Ladies." That is, until you listen the lyrics. Basically she's telling us to put a ring on it! Damn Bey, we all can't get a Jay-Z (but if Memphis Bleek is anywhere in your vicinity, please send him my way). Then Steve Harvey came out with his book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." Oh boy. He really had us going. I will not deny the book was a success. However, I am going to go out on a limb and say it single-handedly destroyed the future of relationships. Sure- there were some good points, but ladies, be honest: didn't you read it thinking, Tell me something I don't know?
Ok seriously, Beyonce and Steve Harvey specifically are not the reason why relationships don't work. It's this theory, even a syndrome if you will, of "I know I'm a good catch so you better put a ring on it, but not before dating me for 3 months, having a good job, taking me to meet your mama, blah blah blah." Don't get me wrong, in time all of these things fall in to place; but there is no formula for it- and one preceding the other does not and will not guarantee you relationship bliss. All I ask is that you take that hand and put a cranberry and vodka in it, and for the sake of returning to sanity, act like YOU. For me, it's not working so well (ask any of my friends who are familiar with my dating history), but for you, there is hope!
Disclaimer: I am Beyonce's #1 stan, and know the "Single Ladies" routine like no other, even having performed it on a dance floor (or 2...or 3). So, if you even think to think this post is a diss to Beyonce-you will be sued. As far as Steve Harvey goes, I respect the man's hustle and I'm sure if he read this he would say "She needs to read my book. And get a man." Ironically, he wouldn't be the first.
At first glance, we thanked my beloved Beyonce for making it cool to be "Single Ladies." That is, until you listen the lyrics. Basically she's telling us to put a ring on it! Damn Bey, we all can't get a Jay-Z (but if Memphis Bleek is anywhere in your vicinity, please send him my way). Then Steve Harvey came out with his book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." Oh boy. He really had us going. I will not deny the book was a success. However, I am going to go out on a limb and say it single-handedly destroyed the future of relationships. Sure- there were some good points, but ladies, be honest: didn't you read it thinking, Tell me something I don't know?
Ok seriously, Beyonce and Steve Harvey specifically are not the reason why relationships don't work. It's this theory, even a syndrome if you will, of "I know I'm a good catch so you better put a ring on it, but not before dating me for 3 months, having a good job, taking me to meet your mama, blah blah blah." Don't get me wrong, in time all of these things fall in to place; but there is no formula for it- and one preceding the other does not and will not guarantee you relationship bliss. All I ask is that you take that hand and put a cranberry and vodka in it, and for the sake of returning to sanity, act like YOU. For me, it's not working so well (ask any of my friends who are familiar with my dating history), but for you, there is hope!
Disclaimer: I am Beyonce's #1 stan, and know the "Single Ladies" routine like no other, even having performed it on a dance floor (or 2...or 3). So, if you even think to think this post is a diss to Beyonce-you will be sued. As far as Steve Harvey goes, I respect the man's hustle and I'm sure if he read this he would say "She needs to read my book. And get a man." Ironically, he wouldn't be the first.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Joke of the day: What's Black, White, and Dumb all over?
Answer: the Black guy in the white shirt I encountered on the train last night.
I'm waiting for the A train, on my way to a bday celebration at Cafe Charbon in the Lower East Side. It's Saturday night and I'm feeling good (thanks to Bacardi and Captain Morgan), looking good (thanks to Old Navy), and smelling good (many thanks to Dior). Now, if you live in NY and are single, it's always a pleasant surprise when cuties get in the same train car. Tonight was no exception. I'm sitting there and three cute Black guys get in the train. Professional looking, a little unkempt, obviously they had been bar-hopping. My night is going great. Then they start talking.
So, the three stooges [hereinafter referred to as "Moe," "Larry," and "Curly"] are having a conversation. The train car is pretty empty, and unfortunately for my ears, they had to endure. Larry asks Moe to tell him about the girl he met. Moe proceeds to describe the girl, and he said, and I quote "She was really pretty, you know, White, and thick, but not Black-girl thick, White-girl thick ..." I know my ears weren't deceiving me, and to confirm, in between the hair color, eye color, type of job, etc. he kept repeating "White-girl thick" and continues to describe the difference. While I'm sitting right there! Curly obviously was the only smart one, relatively speaking, in the group. He didn't say much, I'm sure because he felt uncomfortable that they were talking like that in front of me. The funny thing is, Moe never really said anything descriptive, he just kept saying, "you know "White-girl thick." I just started laughing to myself because they sounded so ignorant.
Finally, the train stopped, I'm thankful I get away from them as I make my way to the F train for the remainder of my trip. Here comes the freaking 3 stooges, behind me. And Moe, he just couldn't help himself, he continues talking about this girl he met and how she was "White-girl thick." I can't say with 100% certainty, but I do believe I heard him reference me as the difference. Was it in a demeaning way, I don't think so, but isn't it demeaning enough to disrespect me as a Black woman by even having that conversation in front of me. I know, Freedom of speech, blah blah blue. There is never a time for inappropriate conversation, especially when you don't know what the hell you are talking about. When I noticed they too were getting on the F train, I purposely made my way to another car. Enough of that bullshit, I'd rather hear the homeless guy tell me how he lost his job this time and ask for money.
This brings me to my point. The debate regarding interracial relationships should never be a discussion because you love who you love, HOWEVER, how can Black men (not all, so if it doesn't apply to you, it's not for you) constantly describe what's wrong with Black women and not expect us to get an attitude when you straight up disrespect us in our face? I just hate it that Black women are stereotyped as angry, chip on our shoulder, mad cause we don't have a man; but please remember every action is a result of cause & effect. Where do you think this "attitude" comes from? Because of stupid remarks like that. Like, really? Is this what guys talk about?? Ok fine, if you talk about it, why do it in front of a Black woman? Or a White woman? Or any woman?! Then you fill this crap in your significant other's head, and she starts walking around describing her and her friends as "White-girl thick" like it's cute. It's not.
All women are beautiful, and we all have beautiful bodies. There is no denying that there are women of races not Black that have thick thighs, butts, and ample breasts, what we call "thick." Knowing many plus models, I see tons of thick White chicks, and other races; but I didn't know it was a difference in terms of what made them thick vs. me? Apparently neither did the 3 stooges because Moe never actually articulated an intelligent answer. If he would have stated his case as to what it meant to be "White-girl thick" vs. "Black-girl thick" I would have still been annoyed, but perhaps my post would be much more different, like, Wow- did you all know there is a new phenom... Instead, I get dumb, dumber, and dumbest, who in all honesty, I was embarrassed for more so than me.
It's just unfortunate. Men. Get it together. Keep your whack ass conversations to yourself. And if you can't do that, I'll be waiting in the wings-blog ready. Oh, and to the girl that met him-Honey save yourself, or you will without a doubt end up telling him to call Tyrone.
I'm waiting for the A train, on my way to a bday celebration at Cafe Charbon in the Lower East Side. It's Saturday night and I'm feeling good (thanks to Bacardi and Captain Morgan), looking good (thanks to Old Navy), and smelling good (many thanks to Dior). Now, if you live in NY and are single, it's always a pleasant surprise when cuties get in the same train car. Tonight was no exception. I'm sitting there and three cute Black guys get in the train. Professional looking, a little unkempt, obviously they had been bar-hopping. My night is going great. Then they start talking.
So, the three stooges [hereinafter referred to as "Moe," "Larry," and "Curly"] are having a conversation. The train car is pretty empty, and unfortunately for my ears, they had to endure. Larry asks Moe to tell him about the girl he met. Moe proceeds to describe the girl, and he said, and I quote "She was really pretty, you know, White, and thick, but not Black-girl thick, White-girl thick ..." I know my ears weren't deceiving me, and to confirm, in between the hair color, eye color, type of job, etc. he kept repeating "White-girl thick" and continues to describe the difference. While I'm sitting right there! Curly obviously was the only smart one, relatively speaking, in the group. He didn't say much, I'm sure because he felt uncomfortable that they were talking like that in front of me. The funny thing is, Moe never really said anything descriptive, he just kept saying, "you know "White-girl thick." I just started laughing to myself because they sounded so ignorant.
Finally, the train stopped, I'm thankful I get away from them as I make my way to the F train for the remainder of my trip. Here comes the freaking 3 stooges, behind me. And Moe, he just couldn't help himself, he continues talking about this girl he met and how she was "White-girl thick." I can't say with 100% certainty, but I do believe I heard him reference me as the difference. Was it in a demeaning way, I don't think so, but isn't it demeaning enough to disrespect me as a Black woman by even having that conversation in front of me. I know, Freedom of speech, blah blah blue. There is never a time for inappropriate conversation, especially when you don't know what the hell you are talking about. When I noticed they too were getting on the F train, I purposely made my way to another car. Enough of that bullshit, I'd rather hear the homeless guy tell me how he lost his job this time and ask for money.
This brings me to my point. The debate regarding interracial relationships should never be a discussion because you love who you love, HOWEVER, how can Black men (not all, so if it doesn't apply to you, it's not for you) constantly describe what's wrong with Black women and not expect us to get an attitude when you straight up disrespect us in our face? I just hate it that Black women are stereotyped as angry, chip on our shoulder, mad cause we don't have a man; but please remember every action is a result of cause & effect. Where do you think this "attitude" comes from? Because of stupid remarks like that. Like, really? Is this what guys talk about?? Ok fine, if you talk about it, why do it in front of a Black woman? Or a White woman? Or any woman?! Then you fill this crap in your significant other's head, and she starts walking around describing her and her friends as "White-girl thick" like it's cute. It's not.
All women are beautiful, and we all have beautiful bodies. There is no denying that there are women of races not Black that have thick thighs, butts, and ample breasts, what we call "thick." Knowing many plus models, I see tons of thick White chicks, and other races; but I didn't know it was a difference in terms of what made them thick vs. me? Apparently neither did the 3 stooges because Moe never actually articulated an intelligent answer. If he would have stated his case as to what it meant to be "White-girl thick" vs. "Black-girl thick" I would have still been annoyed, but perhaps my post would be much more different, like, Wow- did you all know there is a new phenom... Instead, I get dumb, dumber, and dumbest, who in all honesty, I was embarrassed for more so than me.
It's just unfortunate. Men. Get it together. Keep your whack ass conversations to yourself. And if you can't do that, I'll be waiting in the wings-blog ready. Oh, and to the girl that met him-Honey save yourself, or you will without a doubt end up telling him to call Tyrone.
Let's Have a Toast...
What makes you feel good about the work you do? Accolades. Raises. Promotions. Yeah, Yeah, that's all good and great, but that only happens to what, like 5% of the workforce population? What really makes you happy at work? That feeling of ultimate accomplishment? Most will never admit it out loud, but that's why I'm here. Getting professional vindication from the douchebags and assholes you have to deal with at work. Thanks Kanye, at least you did something right this year by making that song. Disclaimer: I'm not talking about anyone I physically work with in the office so it's not water-cooler conversation-worthy)
Why is it always that one person at work that just won't let it go. Ever. No matter how good you are at your job, they always question your judgement. It's not my fault you were the average student, never made it on the team, then went to college and became even more obscure. The way to prove yourself is not by making other people's lives at your job more miserable than you. If it sounds like I'm venting, a-duhz.
I recently discovered that out of all the steps I have made in the progress of my career, the absolute highlight is being professionally vindicated against the one person who was intent on making my life a living hell the past several months. I received confirmation in a newspaper article that not only do they NOT know everything, but pretty much that they [and their employer collectively] suck at their job in this one specific area, which happens to be the area I work in. It was absolutely amazing to read. I think I heard violins in the background as my eyes danced across the page.
I really never understood these type of working individuals. You know the kind; they have no control over their lives at home so they overcompensate at work. Big fail ladies and gentlemen. Especially if they think it is going to work on me. We spend most of our lives working, so it is understandable that it won't always be a bed of roses, and sure we all complain here and there, get mad, etc. but overkill is unnecessary. Taking your work seriously is an admirable trait, but let's be honest. Anyone reading this article isn't the CEO of a major corporation (though I believe my readers will get there!), so you can't know it all, it's not logically possible. Even me, i know it's hard to believe, but I don't know it all.
I wrote all of that to say, pick your battles when it comes to work. If you honestly have a question about the validity of something said by a colleague or even boss, it is your right to seek confirmation of accuracy, but to insult one's intelligence? That's how you end up in a newspaper article. At least in my case. I hope you all seek your own professional vindication against the douchebag(s) at your job. You don't have to do much, just sit back; they're like the world's dumbest criminals. Again, at least in my case :-)
Cheers,
Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can
Why is it always that one person at work that just won't let it go. Ever. No matter how good you are at your job, they always question your judgement. It's not my fault you were the average student, never made it on the team, then went to college and became even more obscure. The way to prove yourself is not by making other people's lives at your job more miserable than you. If it sounds like I'm venting, a-duhz.
I recently discovered that out of all the steps I have made in the progress of my career, the absolute highlight is being professionally vindicated against the one person who was intent on making my life a living hell the past several months. I received confirmation in a newspaper article that not only do they NOT know everything, but pretty much that they [and their employer collectively] suck at their job in this one specific area, which happens to be the area I work in. It was absolutely amazing to read. I think I heard violins in the background as my eyes danced across the page.
I really never understood these type of working individuals. You know the kind; they have no control over their lives at home so they overcompensate at work. Big fail ladies and gentlemen. Especially if they think it is going to work on me. We spend most of our lives working, so it is understandable that it won't always be a bed of roses, and sure we all complain here and there, get mad, etc. but overkill is unnecessary. Taking your work seriously is an admirable trait, but let's be honest. Anyone reading this article isn't the CEO of a major corporation (though I believe my readers will get there!), so you can't know it all, it's not logically possible. Even me, i know it's hard to believe, but I don't know it all.
I wrote all of that to say, pick your battles when it comes to work. If you honestly have a question about the validity of something said by a colleague or even boss, it is your right to seek confirmation of accuracy, but to insult one's intelligence? That's how you end up in a newspaper article. At least in my case. I hope you all seek your own professional vindication against the douchebag(s) at your job. You don't have to do much, just sit back; they're like the world's dumbest criminals. Again, at least in my case :-)
Cheers,
Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Going in Circles
In light of the recent bias attacks that have taken place in NJ/NY (and I'm sure less publicized communities around the world), I feel compelled to write. However, I've written about this before and it's like deja-freaking-vu. I have to take a different direction this time around. Instead of making this post focused on religion or sexual orientation, I'm going to speak in terms that everyone can relate too. After all, you may not be a bible beater or a gay-basher [I know these words are harsh; so is beating up innocent men & women because of who they love], but you are most certainly guilty of less offenses with the same effect. Denial.
It's human to be judgemental. The problem? We prioritize judgement, and without fail, our own pitfalls always make it to the bottom of the list- giving room to verbal assault against everything and everyone that doesn't fit into what we individually or collectively think is right and just. For instance, I can speak until I'm blue in the face about one's irresponsibility, despite the fact that I went to Miami for vacation rather than pay all of my bills. What makes one's irresponsibility more important than mine or yours? Denial that our life is not perfect, or even close to it.
People are different. That's the way the world was made. There is nothing we can do about it. Paying your bills, taking care of your family, being a responsible citizen, contributing to the economy, and constantly CONSTANTLY seeking self-enlightenment is something you have direct control over, and which deserves your unequivocal judgement.
I don't know guys, I'm just spent about this issue. It's so exhausting. It's like teaching 12th graders their ABCs. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ALREADY. Putting other people down to validate your own shortcomings is so blatantly obvious, it's nauseating.
I had intentions of making this a long-winded philosophical post, but it's like going in circles. Teaching grown people how to behave like real adults is futile when they can't get out of their own way.
It's human to be judgemental. The problem? We prioritize judgement, and without fail, our own pitfalls always make it to the bottom of the list- giving room to verbal assault against everything and everyone that doesn't fit into what we individually or collectively think is right and just. For instance, I can speak until I'm blue in the face about one's irresponsibility, despite the fact that I went to Miami for vacation rather than pay all of my bills. What makes one's irresponsibility more important than mine or yours? Denial that our life is not perfect, or even close to it.
People are different. That's the way the world was made. There is nothing we can do about it. Paying your bills, taking care of your family, being a responsible citizen, contributing to the economy, and constantly CONSTANTLY seeking self-enlightenment is something you have direct control over, and which deserves your unequivocal judgement.
I don't know guys, I'm just spent about this issue. It's so exhausting. It's like teaching 12th graders their ABCs. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ALREADY. Putting other people down to validate your own shortcomings is so blatantly obvious, it's nauseating.
I had intentions of making this a long-winded philosophical post, but it's like going in circles. Teaching grown people how to behave like real adults is futile when they can't get out of their own way.
Monday, October 04, 2010
No: The Operative Word
I can honestly say the one thing I regret about joining twitter is inadvertently coming across a trending topic #NWNW, or No Wedding No Womb. Aside from wishing the creator had taken 5 more minutes to come up with a better name- it makes my uterus uncomfortable, I think they are going about this issue all wrong. Basically, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, this website is dedicated to spreading the message of no children before marriage. I think that's a perfectly noble statement or movement to make. Seriously. It's more theoretical than realistic, but that's their right. My issues are strictly with the website and how they attempt to express their message.
After being given a brief overview, I searched for the website. I was more confused when I finally found it (The top site on Google Search is http://www.nwnw.org/- which is actually more useful and beneficial to the community). As someone trying to get basic information, I clicked on the FAQ link. Instead of giving the movement's background and history, the first question states, Is No Wedding No Womb! about bashing single moms? What does that have to do with why you started this website? Every FAQ only responds to criticism of the movement. I found it to be more defensive than informative. I figured I could get more information in the About Christelyn link. It provided great information about her background, but again, not the movement. Above all, I was thrown for a loop with the following... She is, most importantly, a mother of four children–three of them biracial–and has been married to her husband, Michael, (who just happens to be white) for eight happy, hectic years.
What does the race make-up of one's family have to do with wanting to promote no children before marriage, even if the direction is focused on the Black community? It pretty much insults my intelligence. Even if there are ignorant people in the world who think your view is either less/more valid because of the race of your husband, why would you respond to, mention, or imply the notion? Maybe I'm reading into it too much, and it was meant as an afterthought, but I am going to go with my gut on that one. Strictly from a writing/marketing perspective, fire whoever wrote that, even if it's yourself.
Lastly, I would like to address my issue with the movement because based on the tweets regarding this topic, people aren't taking it seriously (something to think about when promoting this project). No children before marriage is ideal, but not realistic. No matter how much you push a movement, change won't occur just because one says 'this is the right way.' What is this site doing to promote the movement, besides showing Baby Daddy clips of Divorce Court? Where is the media image of NWNW supporters visiting schools and Boys&Girls Club of America explaining the importance of education and taking care of the body? Are you handing out free condoms in your community to prevent pregnancy and STDs? Are you stressing the importance of what it means to be married, the history of marriage, and why the divorce rate is so high (partial answer: people get married for the wrong reasons, social expectations, fear of having children out-of-wedlock, etc.).
Ironically I do believe (hope) supporters go out into the community and promote change, but why isn't that being reflected on the website? I believe Chrystelan's intentions are absolutely for the improvement of our community. I get it, the idea isn't that you have to be married, but that you need to be more responsible when making choices that can or does lead to the result of having a child. On the other hand, I believe she and her supporters are misguided in their judgement. Saying that the state of single mothers is your business because you do the baby daddy's job by paying their WIC with your taxes' doesn't make you sound intelligent- it makes you sound bitter, even if rightfully so. Again, are you trying to make a point, or change?
It's all in perception and how you want to be perceived. NWNW makes sense (not that name though, it's dreadful and even worse when verbalized). The problem- it comes off as a gimmick. Gimmicks only get attention, not results. So if your main concern really is for the children, born and waiting to be, let us see and feel that. Otherwise you sound like the stereotypical Black woman with an attitude. #Imjustsaying (trend that)
After being given a brief overview, I searched for the website. I was more confused when I finally found it (The top site on Google Search is http://www.nwnw.org/- which is actually more useful and beneficial to the community). As someone trying to get basic information, I clicked on the FAQ link. Instead of giving the movement's background and history, the first question states, Is No Wedding No Womb! about bashing single moms? What does that have to do with why you started this website? Every FAQ only responds to criticism of the movement. I found it to be more defensive than informative. I figured I could get more information in the About Christelyn link. It provided great information about her background, but again, not the movement. Above all, I was thrown for a loop with the following... She is, most importantly, a mother of four children–three of them biracial–and has been married to her husband, Michael, (who just happens to be white) for eight happy, hectic years.
What does the race make-up of one's family have to do with wanting to promote no children before marriage, even if the direction is focused on the Black community? It pretty much insults my intelligence. Even if there are ignorant people in the world who think your view is either less/more valid because of the race of your husband, why would you respond to, mention, or imply the notion? Maybe I'm reading into it too much, and it was meant as an afterthought, but I am going to go with my gut on that one. Strictly from a writing/marketing perspective, fire whoever wrote that, even if it's yourself.
Lastly, I would like to address my issue with the movement because based on the tweets regarding this topic, people aren't taking it seriously (something to think about when promoting this project). No children before marriage is ideal, but not realistic. No matter how much you push a movement, change won't occur just because one says 'this is the right way.' What is this site doing to promote the movement, besides showing Baby Daddy clips of Divorce Court? Where is the media image of NWNW supporters visiting schools and Boys&Girls Club of America explaining the importance of education and taking care of the body? Are you handing out free condoms in your community to prevent pregnancy and STDs? Are you stressing the importance of what it means to be married, the history of marriage, and why the divorce rate is so high (partial answer: people get married for the wrong reasons, social expectations, fear of having children out-of-wedlock, etc.).
Ironically I do believe (hope) supporters go out into the community and promote change, but why isn't that being reflected on the website? I believe Chrystelan's intentions are absolutely for the improvement of our community. I get it, the idea isn't that you have to be married, but that you need to be more responsible when making choices that can or does lead to the result of having a child. On the other hand, I believe she and her supporters are misguided in their judgement. Saying that the state of single mothers is your business because you do the baby daddy's job by paying their WIC with your taxes' doesn't make you sound intelligent- it makes you sound bitter, even if rightfully so. Again, are you trying to make a point, or change?
It's all in perception and how you want to be perceived. NWNW makes sense (not that name though, it's dreadful and even worse when verbalized). The problem- it comes off as a gimmick. Gimmicks only get attention, not results. So if your main concern really is for the children, born and waiting to be, let us see and feel that. Otherwise you sound like the stereotypical Black woman with an attitude. #Imjustsaying (trend that)
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Unbreakable.
April 2006. November 2006. October 2010. My blog has had more highs and lows than Lindsey Lohan's career. I too, hit rock bottom. In the world of blogging that is. My passion for writing brought me to this blog in 2004. I can't believe it either. I was just a girl in NC, seeking to find an outlet for my mental thoughts. I was really excited about the possibilities for my blog, but within a year, the romance fizzled. In 2006, I moved to Jersey City, NJ. A brand new life started--with no job. So, I turned to the only friend that didn't mind my rambling. Good 'ole Opinionated Diva. That's my girl. I erased all of my previous posts to start anew, and she welcomed me with open arms, and I swore to be back with a vengeance (see post: Back For the First Time). And I was.... so I thought. Within a couple of months living in my new city, I found a job. My last post was in November 2006. What happened? Life. No, I didn't get married, have kids, or buy a home; just life.
I guess it is true what they say about your 20s. You think you know what you want, but you really don't. I thought my move here was going to catapult into a plus-modeling career. Not really, but you get my point. Sure I did a show here, a show there, mingled here, met someone there, I even auditioned (horribly I might add) for a broadway show. But that life wasn't me. I loved experiencing all of those things (except that audition- brutal), but being that person, wasn't my authentic self and it overshadowed my true passion, which is writing. I definitely don't regret any of my decisions during that time because I've met some wonderful lifetime friends and I can live my life knowing I did it. I still love fashion and join my girls for a catwalk or two, but it took living life and all that comes with it to get me to happy (so took that from Terry McMillan's book 'Getting to Happy' coming out in November- pick it up! :-)
I think I'm there. Ugh, I HATE writing these type of posts, b/c they are always so cliche- this time is going to be different, and blah blah blah. I'm not doing that this time around. All I know is that I love this blog sooooooo much. Like really, it's my baby. But we went from infancy to rebellious teen in a span of 6 years and both ran away from our responsibilities and are now trying to make amends. I thought about nixing the entire blog and starting completely over- new name-new face-new everything. But then I thought, why? Erasing the past won't mean it didn't exist; it just implies you are trying to forget your failures and I'm not going to do that. This is me, us.
It was so necessary for me to not go to sleep until I posted something on here. My olive branch to Opinionated Diva. I swear if she were a spouse- it's the kind you would want to have. So forgiving, this one. Anyway, it's 5:38 am on October 3, 2010 and I can't write much more (I actually could- that's how excited I am), but I do want to share with you my light bulb moment....
I love writing so much and my brain has opinions on a variety of subjects, but I didn't want to inundate my follower or 2 (hopefully more soon lol), so..... I created another blog!!! Yes, I did. Either go hard or go home is what I told myself this time around. Quickly, I haven't posted yet (i mean it is almost daybreak), but it is called the TD Newswire, and it is where I will be speaking on current events (with my opinion of course). It will be geared more towards keeping you informed, especially young adults. I have to say I was inspired by my friends/relatives who never know what I'm talking about when I ask them, "did you hear about ___ on the news." I just think knowing whats going on in our community, neighborhood, state, country, and world directly impacts us. Believe it or not, more so than Lindsey Lohan (sorry for the reference, but you set your own self up girlfriend). I digress.
But here, on Opinionated-Diva, as always I will pick up where I left off and continue to share with you my inner-most thoughts on all that life is, does, and will be.....Stay tuned ((singing A.Keys...cause there's more to see [unbreakable] through the technical difficulties-- so fitting, right?))
Love,
Tiff aka Opinionated Diva
PS: I left all of my old blogs up from years past b/c I actually still enjoy them, hope you do too...
I guess it is true what they say about your 20s. You think you know what you want, but you really don't. I thought my move here was going to catapult into a plus-modeling career. Not really, but you get my point. Sure I did a show here, a show there, mingled here, met someone there, I even auditioned (horribly I might add) for a broadway show. But that life wasn't me. I loved experiencing all of those things (except that audition- brutal), but being that person, wasn't my authentic self and it overshadowed my true passion, which is writing. I definitely don't regret any of my decisions during that time because I've met some wonderful lifetime friends and I can live my life knowing I did it. I still love fashion and join my girls for a catwalk or two, but it took living life and all that comes with it to get me to happy (so took that from Terry McMillan's book 'Getting to Happy' coming out in November- pick it up! :-)
I think I'm there. Ugh, I HATE writing these type of posts, b/c they are always so cliche- this time is going to be different, and blah blah blah. I'm not doing that this time around. All I know is that I love this blog sooooooo much. Like really, it's my baby. But we went from infancy to rebellious teen in a span of 6 years and both ran away from our responsibilities and are now trying to make amends. I thought about nixing the entire blog and starting completely over- new name-new face-new everything. But then I thought, why? Erasing the past won't mean it didn't exist; it just implies you are trying to forget your failures and I'm not going to do that. This is me, us.
It was so necessary for me to not go to sleep until I posted something on here. My olive branch to Opinionated Diva. I swear if she were a spouse- it's the kind you would want to have. So forgiving, this one. Anyway, it's 5:38 am on October 3, 2010 and I can't write much more (I actually could- that's how excited I am), but I do want to share with you my light bulb moment....
I love writing so much and my brain has opinions on a variety of subjects, but I didn't want to inundate my follower or 2 (hopefully more soon lol), so..... I created another blog!!! Yes, I did. Either go hard or go home is what I told myself this time around. Quickly, I haven't posted yet (i mean it is almost daybreak), but it is called the TD Newswire, and it is where I will be speaking on current events (with my opinion of course). It will be geared more towards keeping you informed, especially young adults. I have to say I was inspired by my friends/relatives who never know what I'm talking about when I ask them, "did you hear about ___ on the news." I just think knowing whats going on in our community, neighborhood, state, country, and world directly impacts us. Believe it or not, more so than Lindsey Lohan (sorry for the reference, but you set your own self up girlfriend). I digress.
But here, on Opinionated-Diva, as always I will pick up where I left off and continue to share with you my inner-most thoughts on all that life is, does, and will be.....Stay tuned ((singing A.Keys...cause there's more to see [unbreakable] through the technical difficulties-- so fitting, right?))
Love,
Tiff aka Opinionated Diva
PS: I left all of my old blogs up from years past b/c I actually still enjoy them, hope you do too...
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