Papa Don't Preach

I will be honest.  I had my own moral dilemmas on writing about a preacher considering my previous blog entry was about orgasms.  However, this is related!  What else is new.  Church scandal #1,485,930 (rough estimate) and counting.  The above preacher, the one and only Reverend Cedric Miller of New Jersey, is known as the "Facebook banning preacher."  He ordered 50 church officials to delete their FB accounts or resign from their leadership positions because he believes it conjures up old flames and desires.  Before the news could be replaced with another mindless story that has no impact on the future of our country, it took an interesting and scandalous turn.  Rev. Miller apologized to his congregation for engaging in a threesome with his wife and another male church assistant.  Of course, I have issues with this whole situation.  Wrote a blog about it, like to hear it? Here it go...

First-I never feel like I have to explain myself since it is, after all, my blog.  But when it comes to touchy subjects, I like to be perfectly clear as my intentions are never to offend (on purpose).  This is not about church.  Not about organized religion.  Not about my beliefs or an attack on yours.  I don't make the news and I damn sure don't make up the news, so if you have a problem with anything written regarding this entry, take it up with Rev. Miller not me.  He can be reached at his local NJ church, or a swingers party near you.

I am not in a position of leadership or power, so I can't imagine what the pressure is like to always be perfect, or as close to it as humanly possible.  But I can imagine that it is common sense to know that you should practice what you preach-pun intended.  Otherwise the sh*t is inevitably going to hit the fan.  Like, really, what was he thinking??!  First, to turn your anger towards a social networking site as the ruler of evil is a little unrealistic don't you think?  Ok granted, people have been beaten, stalked, and even murdered over Facebook- so maybe he has a point.  BUT, to force church officials to delete or resign from their position for keeping a FB account is abuse of power, illegal even (are churches allowed to have unions?  This may be the new trend thanks to Rev. Miller).  Technology is never the problem.  It wouldn't even exist if there wasn't a person on the other end of the keyboard dictating information.  To blame FB for life's issues is complete and utter denial.  The problem is that people take social networking sites like FB, Myspace (when it was cool, and don't front- we ALL had one) so seriously, their lives revolve around posts and tweets.  I am a supporter of all social media, whether I have an account or not, but I refuse to let it ruin my life or influence my judgement of those I associate with.  If you are an asshole on FB, you're probably one in real life; but, let me be the judge of that.

Now, the scandal.  What's funny about this part is that it happened in 2003!  A newspaper was going to revisit the story since Rev. Miller made news regarding FB, which prompted all of the hoopla.  According to court documents, Miller, his wife, and the church assistant engaged in threesome's while the assistant's wife watched (and I'm sure participated-but they left that out).  My main problem with this- why did it go to court?  After it was found out that the assistant was sleeping with other female members of the church, a criminal case was filed.  WHY?  It makes no sense to have a court of law preside over infidelity unless it is during a divorce.  The case was dismissed (obviously).  I am not an expert on religion or sex (though my sister did call me Dr. Ruth after my last blog entry), but I can tell you that we are all human.  Despite your beliefs, what it takes to please you in the bedroom should not be up for judgement.  When you keep it PRIVATE.  And I literally mean in the bedroom; according to the court documents it took place on church grounds.  Even a sinner like me will never be cool with that.  Ever.

No matter how by the book (no pun intended with this one, seriously) you try to live your life, I believe that we all subconsciously sin every day.  I am neither for or against swingers, S&M, bondage, fetish, kama sutra, traditional, WHATEVER.  I don't care.  However, when you take a leadership position, you should lead by example.  And if your job is telling people to live their life a certain way and judge those who don't live it the same way, all while living it the way of the people you judge (and apparently envy since some will risk their livelihood to do it), I have a serious problem with that.  And you should too.  I'm going to leave it at that, or my post will become less and less objective because I personally know (and know people who know) how it feels to be judged based on the things we believe, despite showing our respect/love/fear for the universe and those in and beyond it.