No: The Operative Word

I can honestly say the one thing I regret about joining twitter is inadvertently coming across a trending topic #NWNW, or No Wedding No Womb.  Aside from wishing the creator had taken 5 more minutes to come up with a better name- it makes my uterus uncomfortable, I think they are going about this issue all wrong.  Basically, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, this website is dedicated to spreading the message of no children before marriage. I think that's a perfectly noble statement or movement to make. Seriously.  It's more theoretical than realistic, but that's their right.   My issues are strictly with the website and how they attempt to express their message.

After being given a brief overview, I searched for the website.  I was more confused when I finally found it (The top site on Google Search is http://www.nwnw.org/- which is actually more useful and beneficial to the community).  As someone trying to get basic information, I clicked on the FAQ link.  Instead of giving the movement's background and history, the first question states, Is No Wedding No Womb! about bashing single moms?  What does that have to do with why you started this website?  Every FAQ only responds to criticism of the movement.  I found it to be more defensive than informative.  I figured I could get more information in the About Christelyn link.  It provided great information about her background, but again, not the movement.  Above all, I was thrown for a loop with the following... She is, most importantly, a mother of four children–three of them biracial–and has been married to her husband, Michael, (who just happens to be white) for eight happy, hectic years.

What does the race make-up of one's family have to do with wanting to promote no children before marriage, even if the direction is focused on the Black community?  It pretty much insults my intelligence.  Even if there are ignorant people in the world who think your view is either less/more valid because of the race of your husband, why would you respond to, mention, or imply the notion?  Maybe I'm reading into it too much, and it was meant as an afterthought, but I am going to go with my gut on that one.  Strictly from a writing/marketing perspective, fire whoever wrote that, even if it's yourself.

Lastly, I would like to address my issue with the movement because based on the tweets regarding this topic, people aren't taking it seriously (something to think about when promoting this project).  No children before marriage is ideal, but not realistic.  No matter how much you push a movement, change won't occur just because one says 'this is the right way.'  What is this site doing to promote the movement, besides showing Baby Daddy clips of Divorce Court?  Where is the media image of  NWNW supporters visiting schools and Boys&Girls Club of America explaining the importance of education and taking care of the body?  Are you handing out free condoms in your community to prevent pregnancy and STDs?  Are you stressing the importance of what it means to be married, the history of marriage, and why the divorce rate is so high (partial answer: people get married for the wrong reasons, social expectations, fear of having children out-of-wedlock, etc.).

Ironically I do believe (hope) supporters go out into the community and promote change, but why isn't that being reflected on the website?  I believe Chrystelan's intentions are absolutely for the improvement of our community.  I get it, the idea isn't that you have to be married, but that you need to be more responsible when making choices that can or does lead to the result of having a child.  On the other hand, I believe she and her supporters are misguided in their judgement.  Saying that the state of single mothers is your business because you do the baby daddy's job by paying their WIC with your taxes' doesn't make you sound intelligent- it makes you sound bitter, even if rightfully so.  Again, are you trying to make a point, or change? 

It's all in perception and how you want to be perceived.   NWNW makes sense (not that name though, it's dreadful and even worse when verbalized).  The problem- it comes off as a gimmick.  Gimmicks only get attention, not results.  So if your main concern really is for the children, born and waiting to be, let us see and feel that.  Otherwise you sound like the stereotypical Black woman with an attitude.  #Imjustsaying (trend that)